How to eat a banana when you are a woman

Men have no idea how privileged they are. Just peel that banana and take a bite, no rooster crows or thinks anything. But with women, it's different. Eating a banana isn't really a problem, but eating a banana in company is. And especially eating a banana when men are around. Now, I'm not going to accuse men of filthy fantasies; I'm mainly doing it to myself (and other women).

I was recently at an event that started around nine in the morning and lasted until twelve. I had a shake for breakfast, but around eleven you get hungry. And then there was the coffee break. It came just in time. I was on a diet, so I could do little with the shiny croissants and juicy donuts. The option: a banana or a bunch of grapes. Such a bunch is so awkward to bring inside, and I'm already more of a banana team. But yes, then you have to eat a banana in unfamiliar company, and I find that difficult. I left the banana as it was, still a bit grumbling to myself because: don't be so dramatic with your banana. And then I saw it. Then I saw her. It was a woman with a banana, who in the meantime had to multitask. You get a strange result: the banana was half peeled without hands in her mouth, entirely. For minutes. Or maybe seconds, but it seemed endless. I've never been so glad that I didn't have a banana. But actually, I could have easily nibbled on a little banana in the time that the banana was proudly sticking out of her mouth. No one would have seen it.

Let me just say it like it is: a banana simply suggests a blowjob. You can talk about it for a long or short time, but if during sexual education in high school even a banana comes up when practicing with a condom, then you know it's true. As a teenager, you grow up with it. You can't help it. Eating a banana has never been the same since that day. You mash it, cut it into pieces, or you break it. Also probably not pleasant to watch, but it's all better than sending a message with half a banana in your mouth. Or taking a big bite behind the wheel and then catching the grimace of the driver next to you. So I do have bananas, I eat them too, but in pieces. And since the woman with the banana, I recommend everyone to do that. If it's not the man who thinks it, then I certainly do.