If you celebrate December correctly without your family

I am already twisting myself in all sorts of ways to be with friends during the Christmas days, but also with the in-laws and of course my own family. Then I still have to bring an appetizer and a dessert. And wine. And buy gifts in advance. That barely fits in two days. Or well, it just doesn't fit at all. Oh, this wonderful time of the year.

A quarter of all Dutch people celebrate Christmas without family. This is the case in all those instances because there is significant conflict in the family. And what is that usually about? Money. Isn't it sad when you hear it like that? Inheritances, you-have-more-than-I, that kind of nonsense. There are plenty of people who haven't seen their father in years. Fortunately, that doesn't apply to me, as I have the sweetest dad in the world, but I can name a few. The sad thing is that research shows that three-quarters of people also think that ’it will never be okay again‘. And often it is indeed like that. Those family disputes are persistent. Not easily resolved. Sisters, brothers, parents, children: once they are bitter, the way back is hard to see.

I actually know women who did not attend their father's own funeral. Or people who never speak to or see their own brother or sister and only send a lame text on their birthday out of some softened sense of duty. I see my sisters as real friends and of course, there are weeks or two that we don't see each other, but that's it. We actually talk to each other every day. More than half of the Dutch people have no contact with one or more family members anymore. More than half, can you believe it? Now, I'm not saying that I see all my family very often, but certainly my immediate family. And I can't imagine celebrating Christmas later without my sisters, or without those own children who are still safely in my belly. Those numbers make me a bit sad too. An inverted Christmas story, so to speak.

So, here it comes: let's especially be a bit kind to each other, especially now, in this dark December. Forgiving is something that only makes you stronger. There is already so much misery and don't forget: one day it will be too late.