If you cancel then...

The 5 types of reactions that follow

On Saturday I wrote about the types of cancelers that you have. But there are also different ways in which the other person processes your cancellation. I'll list them for you, you just have to see which box your friend fits into.

1. The understanding one

I just got back from vacation and one of my dearest friends was celebrating her birthday. With a dinner at home. And a band. And all fun women. And did I mention that I think she's the dearest? But I couldn't make it, for a reason. Something with a girl who needed her mother. So I canceled. On the day itself. Not nice. A knot in my stomach. I wanted to discuss with her whether I could just have a drink and then come back. ‘Sweetheart, curl up on the couch. Enjoy some cocooning with your girl. I understand that.’ And then I loved her even more.

2. The I-don’t-take-No-For-An-Answer

Canceling is not an option with this friend. She is the decisive type, has been looking forward to this evening and it will take place no matter what. Is your car broken? Then she'll come pick you up. Broken foot? She's calling a taxi right now. Heartbreak and no desire to be around people? Then she's coming to you now. She likes you and she wants to see you. No is not an option.

3. The disappointed one

Here we might have the worst one right away. She was so looking forward to it. Cleaned her whole house. Just put together that new table. Drove all the way to the fishmonger two villages away to get those perfect oysters. And she can't keep them. And oh, it doesn't matter and it can happen of course but gosh, that table. And those oysters. And then comes the sigh.

4. The relaxed one

She secretly always enjoys it when someone cancels. Then she comfortably curls up on the couch with Netflix and a glass of wine and tasty snacks. You'll see each other again. Come on, everything is going great between you. That you shouldn't feel guilty and that a coffee soon is also fine if you're too busy for a dinner. Take it easy.

5. The angry one

Something with a horn on the hook (yes, back in the day, friends, back then you had a horn that you hung up). In reality, you are just being pushed away. She'll get over it quickly, just think about that. She's definitely not the type to hold grudges but the what-you-see-is-what-you-get kind of girl and that's exactly why you love her so much.