Ik bied u vaarwel

As I grabbed my laptop to type this piece, a favorite song of mine by The Lumineers came on Discover Weekly, you know, that Spotify playlist I look forward to every week. A bit of a silver lining to the news that I actually wanted to postpone for as long as possible, but it’s time to jot it down on paper: this puppy is leaving the nest.

After two and a half years of working lovingly at Amayzine – starting out by translating all the pieces into English (easier said than done, because the ladies from the very beginning could write so well that I was sometimes afraid of completely slaughtering their texts), followed by writing about all the Hollywood sleaze (which at the beginning was even translated from English to Dutch for me by Annick), a cup of coffee with May in the kitchen when she asked if I wanted to go to New York for Fashion Week to becoming an editor – my Amayzine adventure is coming to an end.

You should know: writing in Dutch was tough for me at the beginning. Especially because I knew I could express myself so much better in another language, I doubted a lot whether this was something I could even do. But then there was May again, May who genuinely helped me come out of my shell. Who saw so much more in me than I ever saw in myself. I always call it a kind of sixth sense with her, and not like we know from the movie of the same name, no, May's sixth sense sees potential in people. I mean: if I just look at the ladies who have left before me, then I know my future is going to be a bright one thanks to all the trust they had in me. Okay, I will probably never achieve the Dutch literature list, – although, I think I once said that about Donald Trump and his presidency too, so who knows… In short, thank you May for the nudge I needed to do something I love.

You would think that saying goodbye is a standard part of your life and that it would be easier now that you have had to move so much. But this time it’s easier said than done. Yes, in terms of work this has been a dream that is hard to let go of. I have always loved writing and I got the opportunity to fill my days with it, but saying goodbye to the people who have helped me in such a special way during the most difficult period of my life is actually the hardest part of all. May who gave me the opportunity to work a lot and often from Antwerp to be with my father, the team that supported me immensely after his passing (and even before that), allowed me to process my grief in my own way – saying goodbye to that weighs heavier on me than I had thought.

But every bird or puppy or whatever leaves its nest eventually, and for me that time is now. Change is good, I have always learned. It keeps you on your toes. But my goodness (yes, some Amayzine words you will never get out of me), how much I am going to miss it. So, as the Grateful Dead once said (my very last music tip for all you old souls, because their music is from long before my time): ‘what a long strange trip it’s been’. In this case, it’s the most wonderful form of strange I could have ever imagined.