Just about that Dutch pot

Sorry compatriots, but I need to get something off my chest about our meatball culture. I find it terribly disgusting. There, I've said it right away. Dutch cuisine is just not sexy. I've never heard anything as uninspiring as mashed potatoes. They might as well call it mash-pot, because that's what we do. Those grainy potatoes, with a greasy splash of gravy and that meatball on the right. And then we mash it like a bunch of idiots. Why do we do that? It looks like a splash of vomit, and everything tastes like one big potato mass of the same. I just don't get it; why do we eat all sorts of potato variations with our meal, while in southern areas they prefer bread or rice dishes and serve potatoes as a vegetable on the table.

What makes me cringe? Here it comes.

Spinach à la crème. Fine, that tasty field spinach in the salad. But what is it with the Dutch that we want to boil everything to death like a green pot of snot with a fish stick on the side? Yuck. Cauliflower with cheese sauce!!! You know, that nice bag of powder? My god. Endive with ham and cheese. One big watery bite in your mouth. Bitter too. Brrrr. Hutspot. WITH MASHED CARROT. STOP IT WITH ME. Red cabbage. I used to get a nice dollop of salad dressing with that. Do you think it's strange that I have trauma? Brussels sprouts. Childish or not, I still eat them with a long face. Those weird, soft, bitter little heads of mini-lettuce.

Something completely different: Blood sausage. Blood sausage is (hi Wikipedia) a sausage made from a mixture of blood, fat (here's a place for a parenthesis) or lard, bacon, spices, and fillers. It is a byproduct of slaughter. Um. Why do we eat this? Carrots and peas from a can. I don't get it. They both taste the same, I can't even taste the difference. Snap beans with those strings. I don't get it. One more thing, it has nothing to do with Dutch cuisine (to put it stronger: I don't even know if it's purely Dutch), but what I really can't stand is cream cake. With such a nasty, dry, spongy base with those disgusting candied cherries on top and nuts on the back. Okay guys, I think I've made this totally unnecessary point by now.

Give me Japanese. Or Indonesian. Or otherwise Italian. Mexican, Thai, French, Italian, Lebanese, Israeli, Chilean, Greek, Spanish, Turkish, Surinamese, Arabic, African, Argentine, Chinese, Brazilian, Bulgarian, give me EVERYTHING except Dutch cuisine.

P.S: Kale with sausage and pea soup aside, because I do think that's really the shit. Don’t fuck with Unox.