Kiki’s Expedition Robinson Babble

Good morning island acorn. Nice that you are here to kick off your weekend again. What an evening it was, huh? Holy lord. And I was voting like crazy. Voting for that program. SMS RING 3, do it one more time, even tried ’Ring motherfucking 3‘, but unfortunately, it didn't help.

All props go to Beau and his Five Days Inside (which I also thought was an absolutely amazing program, by the way), but honestly? Our Ex Rob really deserved that grand feather up his ass after last year's legendary season. But hey, crying is for losers, so we leave the battlefield with our heads held high. And that nice guy Kaj Gorgels managed to make the Robinson family proud after all. But back to the order of the day? Right. Coup du Gwenda from last night. And all the other shit we thought behind the TV in 20 fresh points....

1. And on day 11 of the Ekspediesie, the award for the biggest silent rat of the program goes to... Gregory Sedoc! Congratulations, buddy. As punishment, Jody will now perform in a leather thong every Friday night and drum on your scrawny chicken chest. ENJOY THE BLOW.

2. Before my DMs get flooded with questions: requests can be made via quesiqueno@jodytijgert.com, a child can do the laundry. You can even choose the color of the thong yourself. Delightful.

3. Totally cracking up over builder King, Johnny, and Nienke on Devil's Island. That oldies test seemed to be filmed in slow motion, what slow divers. With Corry and that purple cloth hanging half in that limp ponytail, hahaha, love it really.

4. But come on people, we all knew this was a piece of cake for Nienke, right? How clear can you make it, production? But hey, you don't hear us complaining, do you? And now she's back from the slums of devil island: a spot in the final. I'm telling you.

5. At Camp Unknown, they're starting to get a bit cocky, damn it. ‘We're going to swipe another celebrity.’ ‘Tony macaroni giving up, what a fucking loser that is.’ Can someone please say that Camp North is going to win this time? Otherwise, we can pack this season up.

6. Time for the test: the team that first knocks seven coconuts into the basket wins. And SJOOO, that Stijn shoots into that water like a slippery eel, my god. Meanwhile, Robin has a glitch in his little brain.

7. Hahaha, Gwenda, wtf? That music too. What a show. Tranquilo at her ease. Meanwhile, Jan throws that coconut three kilometers away.

8. ‘Hey motherfucking, hey,’ as Steven would say. The producers have finally found a game after five weeks of puzzling that allows Camp Bekend to win as well. HOEZEEEEE. And they deserve it, those beaming faces on the boat. Grinning from ear to ear. Awhh...

9. OH WAIT. This means that Camp Unknown finally gets the chance to execute their plan that they've been drooling over for weeks. Gwenda can't aim, but she can, so they aim Gwen out.

10. HAHA, Laurie's hair when it's in a bun. Sweet cozy Laurie, what is that?

11. Gwenda: ‘I hesitated to just say it. Sorry San, you're out tomorrow. Nothing more to be done.’
All of the Netherlands on the couch: I live for this shit evil thoughts, muhahaha.

12. Robin: ‘The only thing that can get in our way is that damn mint.‘ SMS ’ROBIN LOGOPEDIE CURSUS AAN‘ to 3030.

13. ‘We're not going to stress about it before we have to stress about it.’ Oh fuck, Kiek, what are you doing? Suddenly I see it in my mind, Corry and Johnny having sex in the mud on Devil's Island. STOP IT. KSSST, thought.

14. Oh, and Corry has fake eyelashes, right? RIGHT? Otherwise, I'm going to cry.

15. You know what seems really annoying to me? Packing that backpack again every time you go to the Island Council, yuck.

16. Wait a minute. Those first three votes went to Jan and Sandra?! How come? What kind of weird failed plot have those unknowns created, man? Or as Jan would say: ‘I'm looking out my ôôôgun here.’

17. In the end, it's still Captain Gwen who goes home. Which I found totally prime and chill, but I must admit that my opinion about Gwenda has changed after watching Island Talk. It's bizarre how you can form an opinion about someone after the editing. That woman is just intensely driven, but also super sympathetic and fun, you know. Live and let live!

P.S.: Still laughing a bit about the mud fight of King Corry? Check my Insta Stories at @kikiduren.

P.P.S.: Heart at the bottom if you also think that Corry and Johnny have secretly been messing around in that seawater. Dentures out and GAAAAN with that bite. New season of Benidorm Bastards is coming our way...

P.P.P.S.: HAHA, I suddenly see Corry making the merge and during the eating test, like a real boss, tossing that denture away and just swallowing a rotten egg in a second. Great word, swallow. Okay done, Kiek. Behave yourself, djeeez.

See you next week, coconut cuties, laaataaaah.