Kiki's Expedition Robinson Babbles
Goosebumps moment in my living room. That damn leader always manages to pull it off. ‘Tu du du duuuuu, du du duuuuu, du du duuuuu, du du duuu, dedududuuuuuuuu tududùùùùùù tudududùùùùù tudududùùùùù TUDUUUUUDUUUUUU DUDUDÚÚÚ’. Okay, it's fine, Kiek. Really. No, really. Awkward. Just stop.
Sorry, but at this moment I'm waiting the whole freaking year. Yes, Robbesnobjes, we are back in town after a little summer break and more than ready to cause some old-fashioned ruckus in the form of some sarcastic babble about our favorite show (note to friend group: please don’t organize any cool things on Thursday nights for the next three months, because I’m on a mission). Sharing the most striking, funniest, and ridiculous brain twists of the contestants with you. This week on offer: transgenders, Brabonegers, whores never working again, and KFC cravings. The very first episode. Let’s rock it.
1. While I watch, I can only think: I am sooooo looking forward to this. Soooooo much.
But goddammit, how many people are participating this season? 45? Speaking of expanding.
2. Expedition Robinson 2028: 11 islands, 114 candidates, 72 ON’ers, six eagles, 34 Go Tan woks. ALREADY EXCITED.
3. ‘And then you finally arrive on that island and you immediately realize: you’ve been screwed. Because you’re going nowhere.’ HAHAHA, love Steven already.
4. If Nicolette is secretly hired to scare the ON’ers half to death. ‘Don’t give up. Hold on, HANG ON, it’s going to be heavy-heavy-heavy. Good luck. AND HOLD ON.’
5. Laurie speaks in the third person about herself.
Laura is going to provoke irritation on Twitter.
6. Montage = life.
Gwenda: ‘I’m not going to give orders the whole time this time.’
Gwenda in the next shot: ‘Okay, if you could just NOT do that.’
7. Hands up if you also wouldn’t mind spending a few nights with Özgür on a deserted island. Goddamn.
8. I’m not sure what this says about my personality, but I can’t explain how hard I laughed at Jody Bernal getting shot in the introduction video. Huiiiiiilen.
9. Camp South, in case you’re wondering where all that rice has gone: check under Aisha’s nails. You can get through another week.
10. JAN DE AARDAPPELMAN = EXACTLY A MIX BETWEEN JOE CAPUTO AND PORNSTACHE FROM ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK. Please Google.
11. ‘And then we finish it off with lime and ginger.’ Finishing off? HAHAHA. Wait a second, she thinks she’s in Masterchef Philippines.
12. So those youngsters are laughing their heads off because a nearly 70-year-old woman is participating in ER, two seconds later we see Corry KingKong ruling the whole shit on that island. What a boss.
13. Trending on Twitter: ‘It seems that if you hold a shell to your ear at purple camp, you can hear Glennis Grace asking if Nienke Plas wants her voice and accent back.’
14. In case you missed Famke a bit this episode: she’s working in the bush bush on her new track:
‘All those island gangsters want kiiiiip,
But that’s not so easy
Gwenda disses Donny, because he’s ‘too VIP’
And Go-Tannie is delicious again…’
15. New this year: the captain's duel, held by the team captains.
Donny when he realizes he has to compete against Gwenda: ‘Oh, how nice, a woman.’
Donny’s inner voice: this is going to be a piece of cake.
Donny’s inner voice after his hand is squeezed: HOLY FUCK.
Gwenda: ‘I give him three days and then he breaks down. That hand, yes.’
16. ‘Oh Donny, that’s the cutie!’
‘Well, I’ve seen him up close, you know.’
GWENDA, SERIOUSLY. GO TO SPECSAVERS.
17. Mrs. Major turns out not to handle her loss well and fires one-liners one after another. ‘Fucking Donny Roelvink. What can that guy actually do??’ LOUD LAUGHTER.
18. Meanwhile, the ram dish on Aisha's head tells them they need to keep Corry ‘King’ and Jody ‘loesoe’ because he’s not ‘gangang‘. Love this season already.
19. Next week? Josylvio flies to ‘osso’ due to a flooded kitchen, Aisha pays cameramen in kind in exchange for a bucket of hot wings, and Corry King becomes team captain. Believe me: you don’t want to miss this.
P.S.: Want to laugh? Check my Instagram at @kikiduren.
P.P.S.: Heart at the bottom if you’re also freaking excited for this season. Gametime is on, YESSSS!
