Kiki's Expedition Robinson Babbles
My Robinson heart is crying. Are we finally going to start the scheming and the sensation this season, is the one and only Nienke-The-Island-Hopper-Plas being booted out? Crawled back from the dead multiple times and finally murdered with knives in the back. Romeo & Julia is nothing compared to this melodrama. Crying with a cap on. But I must say: this was one of the first episodes this season that really got my heart racing. So the ramblings are extra long. Buckle up, Robinson rats, here we go.
1. Hahaha. So Mr. with his American ‘Stieeeeven’ just got totally knocked down by Nienke. ‘His name is Steven. Not Stieven. STEVEN. I just wanted to confess that. Thank you.’
2. By the way, it’s not Ronnie Flex, but just Ronell Langston Plasschaert. Just so you know.
3. Loiza is cut off from everyone, but she knows everything. I don’t know what kind of sixth sense that chick has, but I want it too.
4. And what’s Steven doing acting all cool with his ‘I feel pretty powerful?’ I mean: he’s playing the game like a real boss, that’s for sure, but do we have to be less sympathetic right away?
5. THE ON’ers already have their plan ready: the next head to roll is Nienke’s. Where did it go wrong? When Loiza brought her two friends to Finalist Island. It’s just like chess, you have to think long-term. The BN’ers were in the majority at first, right? Seriously, they could have played one after the other out. But no, the female weak chose a tea party and yes, then the boys saw a chance for a grand master plan.
6. You can say what you want about Laurie, but you have to give her credit: how this chick manages to get everyone hoping behind her like meek little sheep week after week is an art form in itself.
7. And can someone please tell me in GOD'S NAME what that dirty loose band-aid on Gregory's side is? Has it come to that? Has the decomposition begun?
8. Hilarious and sad at the same time: Nienke and Laurie like two drunk polder cows on that beam. HAHAHA.
9. Yep, Do wins again. The girl in class who used to say she really hadn’t studied well and then got a 9.2.
10. The surf girl is looking for warmth under the armpits of her big strong Braboneger. Whoa, wait a minute. That awkward hug. People, we all see this happening, right?! And he with his: ‘Yes, that’s Do! I recognize her top!’ YES YES OF COURSE YOU KNOW THAT TOP PIETER DE ZAADSCHIETER.
11. Temptation Island Vips 2019: Steven and his wife are participating. He has ‘something to prove’. Do walks in as a seductress. My life is complete.
12. It's nice that as a viewer you get involved with Mrs. Plas's ingrown toenail. We’ve managed to catch that again.
13. Steven: ‘Sometimes I feel like a Samurai, ATTACK!’ And then that music afterwards. And the ‘I missed you’ and immediately two mating insects on screen. Kudos to the montage mafia and those brilliant choices always, you know. ‘The backstabbers. All the time they wanna take your place!’
14. The Netherlands on Twitter: ‘Has that dockworker still not finished that book?’
Meanwhile in Robin's mind: ‘Shit shit shit, lied on the registration forms… I can’t read at all. Illiterate. Just keep flipping through. Seriously look. You got this…’
15. Sorry, but when I saw Loiza cooking, I almost joined in. Pig brains. Living coconut worms. They’re just eating an animal's skull. A RAT. I find this So. F*cking. Intense.
16. I want to take a bow for Nienke evil mastermind. Sorry, but in the history of this program, no one has ever fought SO hard to not be sent home. What a freaking MASTERPLAN. Silently with that letter on that rock. Nien, you’re a genius.
17. Although I would seriously advise her to never become an actress because the ‘You don’t need to cast extra votes!’ was, well, less smart.
18. Time for the Island Council. Heart palpitations on the couch. Will the master plan succeed? Ooh, I think it’s going to be very close.
19. By the way, Nienke is not the only one with the acting skills of a dried-up testicle.
Nicolette: ‘Laurie: Are you happy that Loiza is back?’
Laurie: ‘Uh yeah… Yes, I think it’s really nice…’ *Doubtful smile.
20. Time for the last votes. Say it’s not true. Say it’s not true. Say it’s n… OH F*CK. This is really happening. $#@%^%$. Okay Greg. You. Dirty. Sewer rat. You did it, buddy. You just totally ruined the best episode in history. If Nienke's master plan had succeeded, so many Dutch people could have enjoyed this television with me but no. Now? Now we’re just pissed.
21. Exactly the reason why I’m not ready for kids yet…
– The sporty me would want to shake Greg's hand.
– The real me wants to pull hard on his band-aid.
22. Actually, Nien should have said at the Island Council that Greg goes along with every wind. Now Loiza still thinks that only Steven is untrustworthy.
23. The tweet that made me laugh: ‘Jan is a dairy farmer. And a ninja. Invisible to the final.’ Seriously, where IS that man? His votes are surely in? Suspiciously quiet.
24. Well, take a wild guess who is being sent home next week, dear people: I think Loiza. And then please let Greg fly home and Steven right after, so they immediately realize they’ve been used all this time. A cookie of their own dough. And that Jan would have whispered everything to Laurie afterwards. Seems insane to me.
P.S.: Nienke, you were a worthy fighter. And I intensely wish for you to be able to poop normally again (for all Nien fans: I called her this morning and she gave me exclusive her very first reaction, check my Insta Stories at @kikiduren).
P.P.S.: Heart at the bottom if you wish something for Greg too. A permanent Lego block. Under his foot for example. Ball crusher.
Until next week, bitchahos!
Xxx
Darth Vader
