Kiki's Expedition Robinson babbles

Haaa, Expedition friends. I'm getting straight to the point: I need to call on Houston. The one with ‘we have a problem’, yes. Because there is a bit of a problem. I'm currently on a freaking expedition myself. Not on the Filipinos, but in Costa Rica. Including sleeping in the middle of the jungle among howler monkeys and toucans, and I can tell you: wifi, they don't know that in the place where the ‘Pura Vida’ life is celebrated. Good for them, a bit less good for me.

So I panicked and texted my colleague and fellow Ex Rob fan Annick if she could send me a voice memo with all the shit that happened this week to stay a bit updated. From what I’ve heard, the episode was pretty tame, but the what-da-fak moment at the end made up for a lot. Well, Ozzy's in a tight spot making raaaaaare jumps. But let's not beat around the bush: I haven't seen it. But I know my wing woman Annick and she's a delightful chatterbox, believe me. In 15 points, everything we need to discuss this week. The stage is already yours, Annick… Vamos!

1. What an intensely boring episode. Where is Soundos when you need her? Honestly, she at least made sure there was something to stir up on the island.

2. Twitter hasn't processed Dennis's departure yet: ‘Is Dennis also joining Eilandpraat tonight?’ or: ‘The only one not stepping down voluntarily is Dennis.’ HAHAHA. (Jan Versteegh, props for the last one)

3. We haven't even been going for five minutes and Jody is already crying. Dude, I get that you don't want to build huts anymore, but can we trade him in for button queen Corry? Although farmer Jan can also do something about it. Just imagine what kind of resort would have emerged if they had been on an island together. When can I book?

4. Our Nienke is back and immediately receives the totem for the best quotes of the episode:
‘Weeds don’t die. That Plas is tough.’
‘Be the best version of yourself. And not the last one.’

HAHAHA.

5. Nice, Jody, that you can't keep your concentration, but in the meantime, we've also missed half the challenge. Joe, thanks, mate.

6. Sorry, but is Ozzy on speed or something? That guy sprints and runs like a lizard throughout the entire challenge. Or as Jan says: ‘That guy goes and goes, it’s unbelievable.’

7. YAAAAS! *does a victory dance* Nienke, just between us women, you cheated on that puzzle, right? How can you finish first if you’re last?

8. So close, but so far away. Not Nienke, but Dominique is taking home the win. Three hours later, by the way, Ozzy is still trying to finish the beach puzzle.

9. On Finalist Island, Rob and Do are doing a Turkey photoshoot. In the sea. From the beach. With sunset. Stop. It. With. Me.

10. Jody, in what universe is it tactical to use all your nine f*ing votes at the first Island Council? And then hope that the other expedition members keep you in? That guy really wants to go home.

11. Jody wanting to play kamikaze? Nine votes. Do with three people to Finalist Island? One fruit bowl. Jan explaining to Steven how to inseminate a cow? Priceless.

12. But seriously: why does everyone want to use so many votes already? Can someone explain to them that the expedition isn't over yet? Makers? Hello?

13. Finally, DRAMA is here. Laurie is insecure, Ozzy is taking advantage of that, and Loiza lets the group fight it out. JERRY, JERRY *finally grab my tub of ice cream*

14. As expected, Ozzy has to clear the field. But where are those 26 votes that should be lying around? Something smells fishy here.

15. Holy shit. HOLY SHIT. Ozzy, you can't be serious, right? What the fack are you doing? Why are you sacrificing yourself for Laurie? I don't know how, but this girl has wrapped everyone around her finger like a dictator. Respect for this tactic; if she keeps this up, she has a one-way ticket to the finale.

P.S.: Due to the lack of wifi, there are no Robinson Roddels on @kikiduren this week. But there are cozy Costa Rica snapshots.

P.P.S.: Heart at the bottom if you're also as happy as we are that our Nien is back in the Expedition. Plas, on to that finale. Oh, and next week more old familiar babble from Kiek on Amayzine. Extra heart at the bottom if you can't wait either.

Written by: Annick van den Broek