Amayzine

Kiki’s Temptation Island VIP Brabbels

Episode 4

FIREWORKS, FIREWORKS, FIREWORKS! Feeling like causing a ruckus? Join the club. Last week was a pretty tame episode, so this week it's going to explode. The couples have had no idea how their partners deal with temptation until now. Until now. Do you think what I think?

This is the episode we've been waiting for: it’s bonfire time. Who will break the agreements made? Will Niels give in to poodle Fabiola Kindercola? Will Stefano and Danique's story have a sequel? Can Ruud keep that cap in his pants? Is that fucking Alex Maas finally coming or is that only happening in the grand finale? And since when has Rosanna become such a drama queen? Was that chick hired to cause drama?

1. Okay, let me think. Niels is looking for some sort of ‘closure’ because he still feels a lot of pain from the previous Temptation. And that negative edge just has to go. How do you best do that? Ruining your relationship 2.0, juuuuuuuust, buddy, that’s the spirit.

2. Jarredson has officially become the new Mezdi. Dude, in the pool with your bathrobe to serve those cocktails? Are those things that nice or what? Can we buy those somewhere?

3. Meanwhile, people are seriously wondering how they could possibly send Gelina – the girl without a backbone – to Temptation. She can't handle this at all, man? Oh wait. That's right. No fragile, naive type, no show of course. Welcome, Jolien of this year!

4. ‘I think I’m going to bring a huge bag of marshmallows to the bonfire.’ – said no one ever. Honestly laughing that Donny thinks he’s at a scout camp.

5. Anyway, he’s the cutest ever during the bonfire. I’ve never seen such a happy monkey face. ‘This really does me good, man! I don’t know what it is, but I really feel love when I see her laugh like that.’ Aww. CAN I HAVE A DONNY TOO?

6. With the women, things are going a bit differently.

Rowena: I think she currently wants to shoot all 7 crows off Ruud's little pecker.

Rosanna: calls Niels names that require beeping. Throws chairs. Roars everyone together. Did she get extra money this season to act and spice things up or what? What a drama queen, seriously.

Gelina: oh no HELP, this is going the wrong way. The conviction with which she casually says that Danique is definitely lying. And one image later, Stefano admits it. Oh no, how painful.

Amijé: beer pong. Yawn.

7. Best conversation of the evening…

Kaj: ‘You drink a lot, does that also mean you have a lot of stress?’

Niels: ‘Well… the whole situation stresses me out. Because the atmosphere from last time is still hanging around. I just had such a f*cking shitty experience with that.’

Kaj: ‘And eh, yet you’re here again…’

Niels: ‘Balls, huh.’

8. Big mouth, small heart. ‘Punani Bitch’ Rowena: ‘Sometimes I wonder what I got myself into. I don’t want to get hurt. I initially saw it as a game, but love is no longer a game for me. Love is real and I actually don’t want to put that at stake.’ Is this perhaps the first real woman who is actually too intelligent for Temptation? #TeamGhettoChick #HouVanDieVrouw

9. Oh Ro, 2002 called by the way. They want their earring back. That ring. With that flower. Those ‘pure girls’. Seen it somewhere by chance?

10. Kaj: ‘Ruud, I know you as a friendly joker. And you’re sitting here a bit like you’re going to a funeral.’ Can Mister Gorgels please present all seasons? I vote for that.

11. Am I the only one who feels a bit nauseous in her mouth every time Fabihihihiola (snicker snicker) opens her mouth?

12. And can all the men who have had sex with this woman please step forward? We don’t believe a word of that whole holy ‘I’ve only had sex once’ act. And meanwhile, like a frisky cat on the couch, fingering yourself every day. Yeah, bye.

13. Hands up if you secretly think Danique is a nice chick and have never had that with a seductress before…

14. Oh and, Niels, ‘If I’m allergic to honey, then I don’t eat a fucking jar of honey!’ Let the metaphors be left to someone else next time, buddy. Seems better to me. HAHAHA.

15. All the drinking phases of Rosanna so far:

  • Of course, I might drink two drinks a day
  • I’m not really a drinker either
  • I’m just fun by myself
  • I just chose that
  • Because I just have a relationship
  • I am dedicated
  • One more drink, who cares, we’re already drunk anyway

What we’re giving away this week on my Instagram @kikiduren? A XL bag of marshmallows roasting with Donny, the ‘Don’t hate da plééjaahhh, hate the game’-shirt (you can hear her say it) and a game of naked Twister at my place. I’m telling you: you don’t want to miss this. Same place same time next week? Funnnnn.

P.S.: Heart at the bottom if you also get annoyed by Stefano's glasses. And secretly think it’s cool that no Belgians are participating in this season. Wow!