5x why you argue on vacation and how to prevent it

Because your 2018 must have been as busy as ours and you might have missed a bit: this is one of our top scorers of the year. Just to dive in a little more.

There you are. Terrace in Sardinia, bougainvilleas color the walls, on your plate a wonderful misto mare, candle, linen, and next to you someone who can really get on your nerves so angry you are. You hiss through your teeth that we should eat first and then talk and then spend the rest of the meal wiping your tears away with the expensive napkin. You were looking forward to this for months and now you are here. Crying.

Vacation = argument is equal to Christmas = argument

Expectations are set way too high, you have looked forward to it too much, everything has to be perfect and sky-high joyful and so on. That doesn't work. Enter: argument.

Tip: Adjust your expectations. Assume that the first evening will not be a great success anyway. You're tired, you need to get used to it, and maybe you both need to unwind from work. Give vacation time to become vacation.

You drink too much

Just a bottle, un altro per favore, ah how nice, with the coffee you get another Limoncello from the waiter and as you walk past that terrace, it begs for a cocktail. That mixed with sleep deprivation is the perfect recipe for a drunken rage. Before you know it, you're bickering through the alleys of Ibiza town and then need two days to recover and talk it out.

Tip: Keep it a bit calm and be careful with strong drinks and mixes. You don't know what you're getting.

Tip 2: apply the diplomat's rule. After every alcoholic drink, a glass of water.

Patterns come to light

In your working lives, you both have your role. Moreover, you're busy and may not see some things. On vacation, you suddenly realize what a precise nitpicker he can be at times, and he finds you intensely slow.

Tip: Realize that you cannot change someone and organize your day so that you can both be who you are. If you want to blow-dry your hair for half an hour or so, he will probably read the newspaper and drink coffee downstairs. And his precision has its advantages too.

What you have chosen, he doesn't like

Women usually book the vacation, often without too much consultation. It may be that he expected something completely different and really doesn't feel like that resort / that rough camping or that villa where he has to cook himself.

Tip: discuss well in advance and book the trip together in a fun way. This way you both know what to expect and if it still turns out to be disappointing, at least you won't blame each other.

Old wounds come to the surface

Do you also have crazy dreams on vacation, in which that friend you have been estranged from for years just jumps on the train in your dream and you miss it? Unresolved old pain has the space in your vacation to come to the surface.

Tip: do something with it. It's in your system and it has to come out at some point. Do it constructively, write it down first, approach it well. And don't look deep into the glass to gather courage. Good luck and have a nice vacation!