Amayzine becomes Esmayzine
From the first moment I saw her, I found her grand. And every time I saw her, there was something I wanted/must/would. But she worked at JAN and then at &C and I don't like to work in someone else's neighborhood. When I was on a press trip this spring and I missed her (she was also on the list), it turned out she was gone from &C. Love beckoned. Her boyfriend lives and works in LA and the sum ‘life is short and LA is fun’ was quickly made.
Suddenly a door opened for her, but a little window also opened for me. Because didn't this mean that she might become a bit of Esmayzine? After all, we do enjoy funny, entertaining, honest, and inspiring reports from La La Land.
Love turned out to be mutual, so from now on Esmée will write every week from her sunny abode about everything that crosses her path. Esmée, welcome aboard and of course, I will come your way very soon for the much-needed editorial meeting. But for now: Esmée's very first post.
5 tricks to bluff yourself into a beach club
Los Angeles in August: lovely, but also sweltering and scorching hot. As if you are sticking your face in a hot air oven, try to make sure your makeup doesn't drip into your décolletage.
Fortunately, there is the beach where it is always a few degrees cooler than in Hollywood (up to five degrees!) and a delightful breeze blows so you don't get clammy thighs.
Just a little different than in Scheveningen, in Santa Monica, Malibu, or Venice you don't just ‘pop onto the beach’ to rent a sunbed and then settle in like a flatfish. No, if you don't want to lounge on your own towel like you've been sandblasted, you need to get into the private beach clubs or the hotel pools (also not accessible to the ‘regular’ public) that are located by the beach.
Sneaking in somewhere is actually beyond my Limburg modesty, but I also don't always want to spend the whole day with my butt in the sand. Sometimes you want to be served on a sunbed, that feels like ultimate luxury to me.
So with a smile and a lot of bluff, I always find that sunbed at such a hotel. These are my tricks:
Dress the part
LA is all about ‘appearance’, yup: they scan you from head to toe. So leave your Havaianas at home and put on those nice loafers or that little heel under your summer dress. Do your best with your hair, avoid bushy robber scenes, and put on a bit of makeup, even if you spend the whole day in the blazing sun. Hotel guests who stay in these kinds of hotels walk around like this too.
Walk that walk
In a lobby, always act like you know the way. Don't stand hesitantly at the reception, but greet the people there kindly and immediately avert your gaze while you walk confidently as if you know where you're going.
Find the stairs
In most hotels, the elevator only works with a key card from your room. However, the stairwells are always open as a safety measure, so look for a door that looks like the stairwell in the corner as soon as you enter and take the stairs to the pool.
Talk that talk
If someone from the staff speaks to you while you're hurriedly searching, bluff and say that you would like to take the stairs but don't know where they are. Wink and say: ‘I like to exercise’, those are the magic words in LA, because fit is the new ‘it’.
Go down!
Once you've found the pool, sweating, you also walk confidently towards a sunbed here. Settle in immediately, flop down, throw that towel that is ready off (so don't bring your own sheet) and grab your book or close your eyes.
Act like you belong
So, there you are, in a sea cow position, and there is a good chance that the pool boys will come asking for your room number. Answer nonchalantly that your room wasn't ready yet (in the morning this is the most believable, because large hotels usually check in guests only after 1:30 PM).
Pay in advance
Because you don't have a room number and still want a cola or a cocktail, you give your credit card or pay cash.
Enjoy! Enjoy and especially stay lying for hours.
Written by: Esmée Geeratz
