So I'm throwing a gender reveal party and this is how it goes

A friend of ours texts Billy: ‘Uh, what do you actually give as a gift at a gender party?’ We don't know either. Billy texts back: ‘Maybe you can find it on Amayzine?’ That's how it goes.

So, I thought weeks ago, since I found out there are two, that I want a cake party. Two cakes, two colors inside, and hop, we cut them together. With our best friends and family there, and then hooray, everyone cheering. Or laughing. Or crying. Or everything. I actually don't really know how that goes. It's quite something. But I also find it so silly to text: ‘Well, yay, this is the gender and goodbye, have a nice day.’ Hence those cakes and cupcakes and streamers and balloons and bitterballen and a house full, which by the way are the most fun, from Life of Pie. Golden tip if you ever organize a party. But I don't mind hanging something like that on the big clock. That's allowed. It changes our lives in every way, hence all the fuss around it. That's why we're throwing a party. With kiddie champagne. Over the top? Absolutely. Fun? Yes. Exciting? Even more. Because how does everyone react? And how do I react myself?

The joke is that we already know; I can greet them by their names. But the rest doesn't yet. And that's quite a thing, I notice, when it comes to your first children. Suddenly I'm going to tell where my parents are going to become grandparents. Not that they care, as long as they are healthy babies. So I've had the plan for a gender party for a while, but now that it's almost here, I find it a bit exciting. I'm even nervous. It doesn't help that I'm carrying loads of hormones with me every day, because I cry when I see a baby foot of a stranger on Instagram. Then I also want to see my own baby feet already. Like: after those cakes, they can actually be here. Then we don't have to keep those long thought-out and decided names a secret any longer.

By the way, I notice how many things you actually keep to yourself during your pregnancy. I'm doing better at that than I thought. But you also need it, as a soon-to-be mother. I process things in my own way, at my own pace. And I talk honestly with everyone about my feelings, but on a mysterious level, so to speak. For me, being pregnant is not yet that cozy cloud. I find it harder than I thought. But I don't really blame myself for that; everything is just going a bit differently than I ever expected. That just needs to settle in my head. It only needs time, because I will love my children the most. And it's exactly here that I like to think. Cakes or no cakes. Sometimes I really look forward to being a mother. Yes, also in the ‘heavy beginning’ that everyone scares me about. In that time of nights out of bed with bottles. I enjoy it. I find it the most special thing I've experienced in my life so far. And that in a year or two, three, they will be standing by my bed cheering. ‘Maaaaam, come on out of bed, I want to play football/ballet.’ Just the thought of it already brings a smile to my face. And almost a tear of happiness, because yes, hormones.

Well, we're going to make it a party today. A pink or blue party. And it actually doesn't matter. Because we should actually throw a party because the ultrasounds have all looked good so far. Healthy kids, that's what the gynecologist sees. Two. Our kids. Waving to each other in my belly. With little arms, legs, heads; everything. That's worth the biggest party in the world. Shall we get two extra glitter-confetti cakes for that?