The most annoying statements from Temptation Tim
He might just be the most talked-about man of 2018. Tim started out like a sort of Lord of the Rings Gollum with wedding plans, but now this Flemish fool is on a roll as an incorrigible player – with his own condom line. Tim doesn't do gray. Tim is black and white. All or nothing. Tim is the man with a flattened hedgehog on his head. The boy who is always picked last in gym class. A sensitive little guy who cries that he ‘really misses you hard‘, but also a crazy dude with a dark agenda. And whether he makes it this season or not, the fact that your ears will regularly bleed is certain.
So behold: the downfall of our Timmie, in his own words.
1. “Little house, little garden, little child?”
Brrrrrr. I might spontaneously get a dry cat from that. Sorry, buddy.
2. “I know I'm not going to mess up. And there will be a ring at the last campfire. Yes Rick, I'm getting married after Temptation!”
Fortunately, he has said this sentence seventeen times. In the first two episodes…
3. “No girls allowed, unless it's Deborah Leemans.”
(Pronounced as Debraleemans)
4. “I'm not going to pick a single flower here, while I have a beautiful bouquet at home.”
Still, I feel like he should leave the metaphors to someone else.
5. “I'm really looking forward to the campfire!”
– said nobody ever at Temptation. Nobody, except for Tim.
6. “I'm so glad I'm going to see the dimples in her cheeks again.”
Little bucket, anyone?
7. “Mezdi, you are my best mate, you know that”
Tim and Mezdi have known each other for exactly 63 hours.
8. “Mezdi is with a topless lady in the sea!”
Well, you have to rely on your best mates.
9. “People. People! People! Hey people! Look! PEOPLE. HEY PEOPLE!! LOOK! I'M GOING SWIMMING!”
Sigh…
10. “Bet two packs of cigarettes that I'm not going to mess up?”
Everything about the above sentence is embarrassing.
11. “Don't give her a lighter, okay?”
Well, well, guys, if Tim doesn't like you, then you're really in trouble. HAHA.
12. “Cherish and I can laugh stupidly together. But more like brother and sister. She is the sister I never had.”
Uh oh…
13. “I'm going on a date with Cherish for another five days. I'm going to seek out temptation. I'm going to prove that I'm stronger.”
He’s digging the hole deeper and deeper….
14. “Look, ivy is a plant and it wriggles itself everywhere.”
Tim? Think about the metaphors. Don't do it.
15. “I am currently in love with you. You are my temptation, little cherry.”
Okay, I came up with that little cherry myself. But anyway: stop it.
16. “Look, this is Temptation Island. And then you have to open yourself up to temptation. You have to open yourself up to seduction. And I did that.”
Can someone please explain to that boy that this is exactly NOT the goal of the game?
17. “Wow. That wedding ring is going back in the bag for a bit…”
Seems wise, mate. Next week on Marktplaats? Offered: new wedding ring worth 49.95 euros. Unused. For sale due to circumstances. Bidding starts at 30 euros. To be picked up in Loserville.
Oh dear, Timmie. My tip for you? Grow up, darling. And buy a new swimsuit for Christ’s sake.
