This really says something about your relationship if you are in love with someone else

You might never expect it, but you can run into a lovely creature and fall head over heels for them – even if you have a stable and nice relationship.

Falling in love with someone else is not something crazy. It happens more often than you think. We are just human, and monogamy is quite a thing. You meet so many new people in your life that it makes sense that someone will eventually come along who gives you weak knees. And it doesn't really say much about your relationship, psychologists say. It mainly says something about yourself and your whole life. For example, it doesn't mean that your love for your partner is over or that you no longer see a future with them. It's about you, about your life. You are missing something, which that affair and those butterflies for someone else fill.

Falling in love with someone else – why does it happen to some and not others? Doesn't half of all men cheat at some point, and a third of all women? Yes, indeed. Here's the thing: most people do not seek an affair when they are happy in multiple areas of their life. A relationship always dulls a bit, year after year. That is inevitable. The excitement is gone; it's purely a matter of love, of affection, of little sex, and of a lot of cuddling. Being best friends can also bring some monotony and become boring. But look. If you are still being challenged outside your relationship by, for example, your children, your job, or your hobbies, then you will be less likely to actively seek a lover. If you are bored at work, unhappy with your friendships, and not much happens outside of the standard life, then you will seek that excitement. Perhaps unconsciously.

The big difference with just cheating lies in this. Are you missing something in a certain area of your life? Then you are not only open to cheating with sex but also to cheating with feelings. You are looking for some fulfillment, not just for physical attention. You are looking for distraction, for some variation, for some emotions that you do not yet know well. If it happens to you, make sure to think for yourself. Is it not time for a new job, a new step in your career, a scary hobby, a surprising new friendship with a fresh girlfriend? Or is it time to strengthen that bond with your parents, sisters, or brother? Make sure to think about what makes you happy and about what you might be missing; that is much wiser than just following your heart and going for that other person and breaking your relationship. Regret is the hardest thing there is, and unfortunately, you cannot just undo a break-up.

FACTS

• 65% of all affairs end again after six months
• 33% of the cheating women want to feel that they ‘still matter’
• At least 11% of the women who cheat do this because they want to take revenge on their partner

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