When do you decide if there will be a second child?

Jon and I will be together for 14 years in December, which can be considered quite an achievement. Fortunately, it still feels like we just met each other last year. But in the meantime, a lot of ‘life-changing’ things have happened, and some of those moments are almost seen as ‘self-evident’ by those around us, which I sometimes find quite annoying. And once you've taken that certain step, the next step is immediately asked about. Everyone assumed that when I moved to Amsterdam after drama school, I would immediately move in with Jon, while we loved having two places where we could go back and forth before buying something where you can really make your own spot together. But when we took that step five years ago, the next question was already ready: ‘When are you finally going to ask Carolien to marry you?’, followed by the continuous question after the engagement about when we were going to get married, and subsequently, of course, the ‘logical’ next question: ‘When are you starting on kids?’

During the baby visit, it was already asked, so to speak, when we wanted to start on a second. I find it quite something. Now Jon is already quite contrary, so if something is expected of him, you can bet he will do the opposite. But anyway, setting aside all the intrusive questions: we both want a big family, but that whole when-question is still a tricky one. Is it wise to just go for it, assuming that you also have to be granted the chance to get pregnant again, or is it nice that your first is out of diapers, has gone through the whole ‘two is no’ phase a bit, and understands a little more when a brother or sister comes along? No, I'm not pregnant yet, so that whole going for it is already not going to happen. Now I see with friends that it is quite tough, having two little ones so close together, but you also get ‘out of the babies‘ faster. As if that is something negative, on the contrary: I would always want to be ’in the babies‘, but you understand my point. Other friends love that their oldest is three years old and that only now is a little one on the way. I guess that next year, around Otis’ second birthday, we will have that serious conversation. And then just hope that we are granted such an incredibly sweet and cute little one again.