Why women are modest about salary and success

If you've just had a great month with a bonus and a windfall from the tax office and finally have some money left over to buy something expensive, then we women are icy silent about it. The woman often acts extra modest.

Especially when it comes to salary or success. We don't like to brag, in fact, we do the exact opposite. We often prefer to ‘downgrade’ ourselves rather than say out loud what we really have. A ridiculously expensive new bag on your arm? ‘Yeah, well, I just had a bit left over, saved up a lot you know, there was a discount, haha, yeah, it wasn't that bad, I could get it for a steal and I haven't bought a real bag in about two years and I've only been using those free linen things, and I thought: now is the right moment before I get bills again and no, yeah, three-quarters of my salary goes to bills too, just like yours, yeah, yeah, oh no, I paid for it myself and nothing from my husband, but nothing special this Vuitton, how about you?‘

Money is an uncomfortable topic – even when we do have it. Even with our best friends, we hardly talk about it. Be honest: how many good friends do you know exactly how much they get deposited into their account each month? Exactly. It's a kind of mini-taboo. Even when you should actually be very proud of yourself, because come on, you work hard for it too, right? For many women, it doesn't feel that way: they feel burdened when they have much more to spend than some friends.

Men are very different in this regard. As soon as they receive a generous thirteenth month and have a company lease car parked in front of their door, they are friends the first to let it be known. Over a beer, which they treat. They are a bit prouder, more self-assured, and more open, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. You can actually be proud of what you earn each month, without having to shout it from the rooftops. We women can still learn something from that.

So don't always downplay yourself: such a shame. You can also say: ‘I've had a great year financially. And my career is actually going surprisingly well: I'm doing what I enjoy and I'm earning nicely from it. I have a roof over my head, a warm winter coat hanging on my coat rack, and I can eat sushi once a week. And I achieved that all by myself.’ Something like that. Not weird at all, because you work for it every week.

Money is just money, don't forget that. Because even if you have a lot of it: that doesn't necessarily define happiness. You can still feel sad even if you have a well-filled savings account. Even with that Vuitton on your arm, you can cry, be stuck in traffic, or get caught in the rain. It doesn't depend on those numbers in a bank account at all. And your true friends know that too, hopefully. Be proud of what you do and what you get as a reward for it. Be a man.