Why you shouldn't be happy 365 days a year

I too have spent an hour sobbing at a psychologist. Am I ashamed of that? Yes and no.

Of course, it's easier to maintain the ideal image of your ideal life. For example, on social media: everything is beautiful, cozy, chic, and social. With your friends and followers too. There's always someone who has lost six kilos, got married, or is traveling the world. But that's not how reality is. Everyone has a sad day, a tough week, or a significant setback to deal with. But we prefer not to share that with the rest. And that's why you quickly think: I'm the only one who feels this bad. Seeking a psychologist is a taboo, we think. It happens more often than you think, even with your girlfriends. Being happy I therefore find that happiness is not something that belongs to the 365 days that a year counts. You are not happy all those days, that can't be, you are often not happy enough. And that's a good thing, at least if you embrace it.

For a year, I had the privilege of working with Kelly Weekers, who, like me, graduated in psychology and has a passion for writing. In her book ‘Happy Life 365’, she touches on that sensitive chord: we cannot always be happy. According to Kelly, we should accept our problems, realizing that sadness and misery are also part of life. Once we accept that perfection does not exist and that our expectations do not always come true, we truly feel better. It touches me, especially in this time, when I sometimes worry about my twin pregnancy. How am I going to manage all this with my work and home, can I do it, am I ready to become a mother of two boys right away? Can I ever work as much as I do now, fulfill my career dreams? And drink wine with friends and have a social life? Do I still want that?

Kelly talks about control: you simply cannot have control in your life. Something I am learning more than ever now. ‘As much as we want it, we do not have everything in our hands. Every day, small and large things happen that we could not have changed even with 100 percent effort. That’s life, and the only thing we can do is fully accept that.’ Her underlying lesson is: you can change your reaction to something yourself, but usually not the situation. But you can decide how you feel about it. That might be a good lesson for many people. Accept that there are also things that are annoying or do not go as planned. And allow yourself a moment to feel down, that sadness, that crying fit. And then just let it go – you can't change it anyway.

‘Happiness is something you can create yourself’, and I agree with that. Ultimately, life is full of bumps. It's up to you to choose a different route to still reach your destination. And make choices that make you happier – in other words: do what you have always wanted to do.

Read her book, you will feel better immediately, even if you think you don't need it. Thank you dear Kelly, for your wise and yet light-hearted words.

Source: Instagram Kelly Weekers