With these sleeping bag slippers, you are guaranteed to never have sex again.

I think I have the cold-feet syndrome. When I want to chase my boyfriend out of bed in the morning, I just tap him with my ice stone. You’ve never seen a man run out of the bedroom so fast. Because of those chronic cold feet, I wear slippers. Not in bed, of course, it has to stay a bit cozy. So I have heard a yogi say something very serious about my circulation when she grabbed my frozen little feet. I don’t want to talk about it anymore.

But we have found the slipper that minimizes your chances of sex. It’s much more effective than a pretend headache. By the way, you also immediately send a clear signal when you’re NOT wearing them. I’m talking about The North Face sleep sack slipper. My dear little people, as if you zip yourself up to the chin and strap a belt around it.

Slippers that we are indeed big fans of have everything to do with fluffy little creatures. For example, you have a pair made by Lidl from Texel wool, how hot is that? Or a cheeky alpaca from Hunkemöller. Of course, there’s the only pair of Uggs that you can wear (indoors). And oh dear, do you know it’s almost Christmas? A couple of cuties to welcome your family. For Lilian, we’re also throwing in a French bulldog in our slipper repertoire. We’re not saying you’ll look sexy in these, but they sure are warm.

1. Van Ness Texel wool slippers €14.99, Lidl, 2. Slippers Alpaca €19.99, Hunkemöller

3. Nilo French bulldog slippers £16.63, Asos, 4. Truffle Collection – Reindeer slippers £12.29, Asos

5. Scuffette II slipper with sheepskin €99.95, UGG

And then I would like slippers with a funny quote from RUMAG for Christmas. I.SHOOT.YOU.OUT.OF.MY.SLOPPER. seems fun to me, guys, are you reading along?