DEAR JORDYN, YOU'RE REALLY NOT MAKING IT BETTER FOR YOURSELF

Sure, it was nice that the Oscars were yesterday, but there were many more important things happening in the meantime. We're of course talking about the whole affair surrounding Jordyn Woods and Tristan Thompson. A week ago, she was only known as Kylie Jenner's BFF, and within a day, she went from wannabe Kylie to the most googled person. Probably not for the reasons she hoped, but at least she has been the talk of every day this past week.

In case you've been living under a rock this week, here's a quick recap: Jordyn Woods was at a house party and was spotted kissing Tristan Thompson – Khloé's baby daddy and his daughter True. If we are to believe the gossip, she only went home around seven in the morning. What’s also worth mentioning is that Tristan had already messed up before, namely a few days before Khloé gave birth to True; he was also caught on camera with another woman. In his case, it’s really true what they say: once a cheater, always a cheater. What Jordyn herself said during her first public appearance since the news broke: ‘It’s been real.’ Quite a profound character, that Woods.

Then Jordyn moved back in with her mother (since she was living in Kylie’s guest house) and is ‘broken’ by everything that’s happened. Um, yeah, Jordyn, maybe you should have thought about that a bit earlier. Furthermore, all parties involved are keeping tight-lipped, but gradually more details are coming out. For example, that Jordyn and Tristan had a foolproof plan for their affair: not getting caught. Sources close to Jordyn say that she is in shock that the plan has failed. But they also had a solution for that: keep denying. That also turned out to be not entirely feasible (which she’s probably also ‘in shock’ about). So it was time for The Last Resort: Mission Excuse Making.

And you would think that after a week of thinking time, she would come up with a good story. The world is hanging on your lips, Jordyn, and what do you come up with? Yes, she blames alcohol. Apparently, she had drunk so much that she can be declared unaccountable, and Kylie and Khloé have to forgive her. Because yes, if you’re that drunk, you can’t be held accountable, right? Jordyn, I have news for you: this excuse didn’t work when you secretly started drinking before the school party and made out with your best friend’s crush. Alcohol is not the problem; the problem is really you.

But Jordyn insists that she was so ‘blackout drunk’ that she can’t remember the whole incident and burst into tears when people told her what she had done. Yeah, right… I smell bullshit. Well, the Kardashians, they may not be world changers or the most upstanding types, but in this case, I’m fully teamkardashianjenner. To say the least, this has not been played very well by Jordyn. You don’t easily find a BFF like Kylie, it seems. She also supported Jordyn financially and she got to live for free in her guest house. To then run off with her sister’s boyfriend as a thank you is not exactly nice. So maybe it’s better that she’s back with her mom; maybe she can teach her some morals and values?

Meanwhile, we can walk around looking our best again, Kylie has put all the lipsticks named after Jordyn on sale. So stock up! And secretly, I’m very curious how and if this whole affair will be handled in their Keeping Up With The Kardashians, and also how momager Kris will

get involved. Never a dull moment in their lives, that’s for sure.

Written by: Wieke Veenboer