Embarrassing but true: when you can't get the TV to work in your own home

Worse than this, you won't get. In your own house, no less. The thing you paid for YOURSELF. I can hardly bring myself to write it, but I do it anyway. Hi, I'm Kiki, 26 years old and I can't get the television to work normally nine times out of ten in my own house. And it happens in phases.

Phase 1: he leaves the house

An average feminist heart would start crying, but The Great Misery begins the moment he goes out for a boys' night. Or worse: a week of skiing.

Phase 2: I know I can't get the TV to work, but I try anyway

A donkey doesn't bump into the same stone 128 times, right? I got this. Um, let me think. Which remote did I start with again? That small one, right? And wasn't it this button? Or a combination of this one and this one? No? Wait. That one then? No. Uh...

Phase 3: the error occurs

On demand. TV guide. DVR. HDMI2, I don't know. Oh wait, I have sound. But where's my picture? More snow? In what deep hellish depths of my television have I ended up? Why doesn't that help button ‘help’ when you need it?

Phase 4: Aggression pops up

3 REMOTES IT'S JUST NOT NORMAL.

Phase 5: aggression turns into stubbornness

I'm not calling him, you know. Oh HELL no. Then no TV tonight.

Phase 6: tries it – sigh – one more time

I press everything. The PlayStation. I didn't even know we had that. The box. Is this the radio? Then this should be the TV cabinet, right? HEEE FAK! I HAVE PICTURE BOTTOM LEFT. But in some kind of main menu and without sound. Hello? Sound? Joe?

Phase 7: the depression

I'm about to watch my program on an eighth of the screen without sound. And I feel incredibly sad.

Phase 8: the shameless backtrack

“Hey, sweetheart. It's me. Sorry to call about this again, but I can't get the TV to work again. Can you please...”

AAAAAARGHHHHH.

P.S..: Please tell me I'm not the only idiot who has this.