This is how you become a Parisienne in 16 simple TRICKS

Today is the Chanel show. Then you just want to be in Paris. Or become a Parisienne, even better. With these tips, you'll be well on your way.

1. Smoke
Yeah, yeah, say no more. I know, but smoking is just as connected to the Parisienne as the jeans, the ballerina flats, and the white T-shirt.

You smoke whenever and wherever possible, but if you can do it while walking, you score bonus points.

2. Complain, sigh, and groan
About the service, about the weather, about the crowds, about Paris, and also very much about cultural matters.

3. Find
Find everything about everything. And think that everyone is waiting for your opinion. And yes, you preferably find everything stupid. Or bad.

4. Use the same words for many things
‘Un truc’ can be used for everything. Un truc can be a flirt, but also a business incident. Much easier. You can also use the curse word ‘putain’ delightfully often. Just play a bit with the way you pronounce it, from fierce to bored and everything in between.

5. Stroll
Through neighborhoods where you don’t necessarily have anything to look for, while you smoke. In those jeans with that white T-shirt, while you find everything. And smoke.

6. Don’t call back
Or at least not quickly. And especially not if it’s a man who called you.

7. So don’t do this either
Don’t excuse yourself for the fact that you’re calling back so late. He should be glad that you’re calling. And that you exist, that too.

8. Drink your coffee sitting
Smoking is allowed while walking, but drinking coffee is not. You sit. At a little table. And you drink coffee from a cup. If you’d like a cigarette to complete the picture: fine.

9. Read a book in the metro
Or a newspaper in public. When you read, you are seen.

10. Smoke light
Because healthy.

11. Use your girlfriend
Save your girlfriend in your phone under the name of a male person. Just to keep your lover a bit on their toes, alert, and hungry. Because who is that Max who keeps calling?

12. Walk away when you get a call
This also applies at the office or when you’re with friends. Walk away, whisper, and especially afterwards don’t say what it was about.

13. Abhor labels

14. Celebrate the pharmacy
Take everything and smear everything, preferably from brands that no one else knows.

14. Choose a perfume
And keep it for your life.

15. Cut your own hair
But be friends with the best hairdresser.

I can’t make it easier. As Baudelaire said: ‘Que c’est une dure métier que d’être belle femme.’