If you find motherhood a bit heavy too
This is for all the mothers who also see a quarter turn cross-eyed because of the chronic nights of a maximum of two hours. This is for all the mothers who have to get up six times a night.
Motherhood: it's just not always easy. And easy peasy. And rainbows and butterflies. Can I say that out loud? Or just think it? Some days are really tough, I think, now that my twins are eight months old. And I find it difficult to confess this to my mother, friends, or husband. It sounds a bit mean to my boys. But sometimes you can also find it hard to be a mom, right? I'm not the only one who thinks this, am I?
From one day to the next, I have the responsibility for two children. From that moment on, time for myself is something that hardly exists anymore. Maybe an hour, before bed. But actually not really. I never know when I have to get out of bed again. I don't know when I can sleep, what time I wake up. The age they are now is a challenge: they are teething, learning to crawl, growing. Because of that, they are not feeling well and often awake, all day and all night long. It's exhausting me.
The lack of sleep has made being a mother for me lately seriously a lot heavier. It's not just one night of waking up, it's every night, for weeks now, haunting through the house in the dead of night. Comforting, giving bottles, searching for pacifiers. Oh, I do it with all my love, but sometimes I just can't anymore. Because I also work, do enough during the day, want to see friends on the weekend and have a drink. And sometimes still be a bit of a fun and well-groomed woman for my love. And keeping everything up without sleep, well, that's pretty tough. Complaining about how hard it is: I don't know. I can't, because I love my boys so much. They make me happier than anything else. I read and hear enough about women who can't have children, who have been trying for two years, who have lost a child. Then I think: they would love to give a bottle at three in the morning. What am I complaining about? Hop, move on. It puts things into perspective, but it also means I never dare to complain, that I'm always 'on'. I don't ask for help, because I can really do it myself. While it's not crazy that when you're this tired, your day isn't always super happy fun. Especially not when you still have work to do and three hundred full laundry baskets to go.
Okay, a note to self then. Sigh hard every now and then, grumble that you're exhausted and worn out, ask your sister, mother, or mother-in-law to babysit for a night and then go to sleep. First have a drink and have a good conversation with your husband. He also needs some attention now that he is no longer.
priority number one after two children. And catch up on sleep whenever you can. Even if it's three in the afternoon: these are the tough years. Tropical naps on Tuesday afternoons just come with it. This is for you, mothers who are cross-eyed after no sleep. We can do it. Only eighteen more years to go. tessa sitting at the table with her head in her hands Motherhood: it's just not always easy. And easy peasy. And rainbows and butterflies. Can I say that out loud? Or just think it? Some days are really tough, I think, now that my two.
