Is there suddenly an expiration date for having a child?
Forgive me this somewhat unnuanced question, but sometimes I suddenly feel like a carton of milk that is starting to smell a bit sour. That when you open the fridge, it smells like something that is almost no longer consumable or fertilizable, in this case. I was under the impression that we were keeping up with our time and that age would automatically expand in that regard, if I can say so, but judging by the reactions, apparently not. People have very clear ideas about when you should want to have children, be able to have them (let's not forget that this is not so obvious). And especially: until when this is possible and allowed. I just turned 33 and apparently I am in the danger zone.
If we look at things biologically, then a woman's body between the ages of 20 and 25 is most suitable for getting pregnant, being pregnant, and bringing a child into the world. This has to do with the number of eggs, the flexibility of the body, and the risks associated with pregnancy. This has been researched, is established, and we can't do much about those numbers. By the way, I believe that after our mothers, almost no one had a child before their twenty-fifth birthday, but that's beside the point. The age at which Dutch women have children is still rising every year, according to the CBS figures. In 2018, we were on average 29.9 years old, in 2017 it was still 29.8 years old, I aim for 30 in 2019, because that growth seems very realistic to me, even though I have no clue about these kinds of forecasts, you know. By the way, we are by no means the oldest in Europe, because in Spain, Italy, and Greece, it is very common for a woman to be over 30 when expecting her first child. Also, there are increasingly fewer women in our country who become pregnant between the ages of 20 and 30, but rather more women between the ages of 40 and 45.
I calculated quickly, because suppose you are around 37 years old and want a child, then you are (if everything goes well and smoothly) still ten years away from your retirement age when they are about to leave home (if they stay home longer, then that's a bit your own fault and you care too well for them, if they go earlier, this obviously doesn't apply the other way around). How strange is that? Not really, right? If your children then adhere to the average age, you are just finishing work when the first grandchild arrives and you can start all over again with babysitting. You are now saying very firmly that you will never do this, but I have my own mother as living proof: the first grandchild is on the way and all her principles are going overboard.
Of course, the risks are slightly greater when you are older, but let's not forget that healthcare has also not stood still in the last (let's say) twenty years and those developments are pretty much ongoing. I find our parents much younger than our grandparents at that age and I expect that trend to continue and not reverse. Now it also seems that our life expectancy will increase significantly between now and 2040, which gives room for expansion.
But you should especially know whether you want children or not, you can decide when you wish to do this or not, and no one should interfere with what age is suitable for that. Except for the doctor, of course, because your health is the most important thing.
