Just about last night...

04:15 AM. I wake up with a gi-gantic thirst. I stumble out of bed and… WTF, I’m startled by a gigantic black object. Oh, it’s the bedroom plant. Jesus. What has that thing suddenly grown so big? It looks like four times as big as yesterday. Is that thing moving or am I imagining it? Weird.

I walk towards the bathroom and hear my boyfriend coming that way too. ‘Are you also so thirsty?’ He looks at me a bit strangely. ‘Kind of,’ I mumble. I hand him a bottle of water. He takes a gigantic sip and spits everything out in my face a second later. ‘WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!’ He takes another sip and spits everything out in my face again with a crazy grin on his face. I don’t get it. I feel outraged. Why are his eyes rolling around so weirdly all the time? It feels like a fucking horror scene.

He ignores me and walks back to the bedroom. Where he suddenly has set up a painter's ladder against the cabinet. How did he get that ladder again? ‘Sander, it’s the middle of the night. What the hell are you doing?’ ‘I’m going upstairs,’ he says. His eyes are almost completely rolled back by now. And then it happens. He steps on the ladder and walks with his head straight through the roof. His head disappears into the ceiling of our bedroom. He laughs loudly. I uh, get scared. Intensely.

Hey, I don’t know how you’re doing this morning, but I had a slight error in the upstairs department last night when I woke up, you know what I mean. Why are some dreams realistic? Why do you get realistic dreams? And what does it mean when you have a realistic dream?

I had to Google it for a bit. ‘Very realistic dreams.’ They sometimes seem so real that I need a few minutes after waking up to realize it was just a dream. ‘You should compare your brain to a computer,’ I read. A computer also needs to be cleaned up from time to time. Every dream you have is related to an event in the past. This is also the reason why it’s so hard to remember a dream, precisely because emotions are being cleared up.

Aha. It’s well known that during your sleep you process things in your dreams that you’ve experienced in daily life, but where the hell does that painter's ladder suddenly come from? Why is my houseplant alive? And why is my boyfriend, for God’s sake, hovering over me? Donno. But you understand that I showed up at the office today with tiny eyes. Long live Monday, woohoo!