Just about that clip of Donny Roelvink

You can't get around it. Even if you want to. Even if you beg Aretha Franklin on your bare knees to teach us autotune millennials a lesson. Donny is going like crazy. The – let's be honest – well-dried half of the Roelvinkjes is trending at number 2 with his song ‘Blokkeren’, and I actually shouldn't say anything about it. But there were questions. Too many questions. So it was time for an old-fashioned music video review. Buckle up, here we go.

Stay myself, I'm not going to force anything.
You have to accept how I am.

It never worked, but I kept trying.
At first, she didn't want me.
Now I have to block her...

Good, seen it? Nice. Then we can find something now. Look, first of all: Donny has a clear message. Stay myself, I'm not going to force anything. You have to accept how I am. I agree with you, Don. It's very tiring to always have to be someone else. I had to get used to your cyber voice sound, but I'm glad you're zen with yourself. It's important in this time. Really.

But I do want to talk about the beginning of your music video, because a lot is happening. Why are we suddenly at a beach party? Hey, IS THIS IJBURG? Who is that chick on the terrace hiding behind a newspaper? What is your past? Is she the chick you blocked? Is Amijé gone because of that? Are we now meeting your stalker? Since when does DonDon have the fashion style of Josylvio? Wasn't Donny the sensible little brother of Dave? What happened to that era?

He just pulls it. I didn't know it still existed, the dance move where you pretend to sneeze, but DonDon brings the dab back. Then he tells the girl to ‘get lost‘. The poor girl. Just imagine: you're quietly sitting on a terrace reading the newspaper, then you get blocked by Donny Roelvink in a red tracksuit and he pushes your forehead back with two fingers. Seriously. What do you do?

A: You get the giggles.
B: You go mental and kick them mooooore.

C: You block him back.

D. You wonder if there's something wrong with your forehead.

The fun part is: we're only 36 seconds into the clip. Let's continue. One after another linguistic gem zooms from Roelvink's lips. ‘BLOCK, put that chickie on block. SCOTT.’

Wait a minute. Who is Scott? Where did Scott suddenly come from and why is Scott being blocked? Can we do something for Scott? I mean: Donny blocked him, but that doesn't mean we have to hate him right away. Should we create the unblock-Scott-FB-page? There are just too many questions left. Why are we still at a beach party? Who are all those girls? Does he have to block them all? That's quite a lot of work. By the way, does he sing himself too.

Block her on IG,

Block her on FB,

Block her on the app
No, she's not coming along...

NO, DO YOU THINK IT'S CRAZY, I WOULDN'T DO IT EITHER IF YOU HAD BLOCKED ME.

And since when do we call Instagram ‘aii-djiee’?

Hey, quite striking: is the fitboy drinking wine now? That dirty rebel. I'm with the cool boys now, okay. Don't mess with my Balenciaga shoe. I drink rosé while looking into the camera with my tight little beard you know. I'm a rapper now.

But: actually, everyone at this party also knows that it only gets really fun at 1 minute 31, when the balloons are introduced. YES. At this moment we feel that we have REALLY landed at a party. I don't know exactly what we're celebrating, but I think it has something to do with Scott. And with the fact that Scott is not among us at this moment and no one knows if he is still breathing. #WhereIsScott

Everyone ready for the bridge? Good. Mark my words, the roof is going to come off. What you do: you slightly bend your knees, you bounce from left to right and start singing/talking softer. It looks like you're about to make a capoeira jump at any moment. You are a Brazilian fight dancer. No one messes with you, Don. You know, just leave a message on that voicemail. Fine, you're ready. You even have a secret trump card. Because what they don't know is that you're not playing it. Sooooo. Nice. Puh. SJEMOEHRRR.

‘JUST LEAVE A MESSAGE ON MY VOICEMAIL

MAWAJENOGNIEWEETIS

DAIKUMNIEAFSPEEEEEEEL.’

Which is actually very stupid, because we know that now. So no one is going to leave that voicemail anymore. Very unfortunate, Donny. Very stupid. Silly Don.

Ah, the sun is setting. The beach party is coming to an end. Where did all those men with glasses of wine suddenly come from? Is rosé the new Coronaatje? Don, am I behind? Listen, bro, I don't know what all happens at those parties of yours, but it's a lot. Too much to handle. Apparently, IJburg is really the place to be. I think I'm going tomorrow too.

P.S.: On my Insta Stories @kikiduren we can still enjoy it a bit.

It just stays in your head, huh, that song...

Donny R. wanted to graduate
But his father got undressed
He tried to ignore it

But that didn't work, he kept traumatizing us...

BLOCK. Now I have to block it. BLOCK.
*Yellow swimming trunks, kugh.

P.P.S.: DonDon, I'm messing with you, you understand that. I'm crazy about your face. Just read this.