Kiki's Diet Diary

Oh lord, completely crazy, all fit girls on board. I can hardly believe it, but I think I just… took a mirror selfie in the gym. Yes. And I was wearing a short top too. Yep, at this point, I think we've arrived.

At first, I absolutely didn't want to take any photos in the gym. With that red, sweaty face and those floppy office buttocks, haha, later! But now? Now I'm in week 11 of my Project Fitgirl regime from Book Your Trainer. And yes, I'm quite a bit proud of the result. And apparently, that comes with short tops. Some call it arrogant, I call it confident, Beyoncé once sang, and I couldn’t agree more.

I notice that others often find it stupid when you're proud of yourself. Happy with your body, calling yourself beautiful. It comes off as so showy, and we Dutch people don't like that. ‘Just act normal, then you're already acting crazy enough.’ Who the hell actually came up with that ridiculous saying? Maybe I just don't feel like acting normal at all. And who actually decides what normal is? Is being modest and humble only the norm in the Netherlands? Are you immediately intimidating if you're confident, passionate, and proud? Especially DO NOT act normal, that's already boring enough, if I may interfere, ‘Mr. the proverb.’.

I can already tell about myself: that I softened my statement at the beginning by saying ‘quite a bit’ proud. No, Kiek, not quite a bit. How about: very much?! That should be allowed sometimes, you know. All those times you said ‘no’ in company. All those glasses of wine you turned down. All those evenings you spent in the kitchen preparing your meals. All those late hours after work in the gym, only to take the train back to Utrecht afterward. Putting your teeth into something, achieving your goals, and then wanting to shout it from the rooftops. Seventy-seven days ago, I decided to completely change my life, and in the meantime, so. Much. Has happened. Just last week, I was casually proclaiming that I was ’really quite satisfied with my body‘ while I just received a video of one of my first training sessions with Steve. I don't know where to look. Only now do I see how I have changed. Was I this?

The strange thing about climbing a mountain is that you often only look ahead. There is your goal. How far do you still have to go? Pain? Blisters? Don't whine, just keep going. Then just stick some blister plasters on. But sometimes it's really nice to look back to see where you came from. I came from a body fat percentage so high that it was unhealthy for my body. I smoked like a chimney. Didn't do balance days. Could enjoy a lovely dinner with a cheese platter and a glass of red (eh, I could still do that, but so be it).

Next week I have my official last weighing moment, and then the 12-week program is over. But honestly: at the moment you see results, you really don't want to stop. So I'm not going to do that either. I will continue training with Steve and I will keep an eye on my nutrition. That does come with a truffle pasta dish and a glass of wine here and there because god, life should also remain fun, right?.

If you want to stay updated on my fit journey, definitely keep an eye on my Insta at @kikiduren. And for now, I want to say something very corny that a certain text has made me go crazy over the past few weeks. Even when I was tired, weak, nauseous, grumpy, or had muscle pain.

I am proud of you.

Very proud of you.
Of you.

As a person.

Of what and how you do.

But also just.

Just.

Until next week, cutie. Heart at the bottom if you're also proud of yourself.