KIKI'S EXPEDITION ROBINSON CHATTERS

We ziiiiingen… HOEMPA HOEMPA HOEMPA TETEREEEEE. It is again tiiiiiijd. For Robinsooooon. If you did not read this sentence singing, then you just had a shitty night. I feel you. Had ceiling duty from three to half six, very annoying. But then I always think: hey, it can always be worse.

You can also be bitten by a crab in your big toe while you sleep. That’s really unfortunate. Or not have a mattress. Lying in the sand with rats around you and a growling stomach. Because your fellow candidate messed up your banana pancake, which first caught fire and then ended up in the sand. And the next day while you are dazed and broken, there’s a TV crew in front of you again. And millions of Dutch people who then form an opinion about you at home on the couch while they indulge in their soggy cheese platter and Croky chips. Realize: Robinson candidates are soldiers. These people deserve applause this morning. From us.

But first we are going to destroy everything and everyone in the babbles. Leggooooo.

1. Mariana. The friend you want to hit in the face with a stick on one hand, but who is always honest. Maybe not the friendliest friend you have, but definitely the most loyal.

Shary-An, clearly annoyed: ‘Why do they find me annoying???’

Mariana: ‘I don’t know. They just find you annoying.’

HAHAHA.

2. About the best woman in question, she started following me on Instagram at a very creepy early time in the morning. Ten to five or something. And now I’m scared. I think.

3. Especially because she also added me on Facebook. And yesterday she sent an email and then a damn powder letter landed on the mat, in which she writes that if I write one more silly thing about her blonde tuft, she will surprise me at night with a stiletto in my eye. Juuust kidding. Eh, Mariana… Hehe… we’re friends darling.. eh… right?

4. Fortunately, we finally have more information about the substance of Rob's paste. His urethra is functioning properly after some treatments. He has actually urinated twice! And the color was good!! And this happy fact is celebrated with a Project X Anti-Bacteria Party at his place. Tonight at half past eight. Bring your rubber gloves and check your email!

5. Meanwhile, Mr. is also happily seeing the fun in last week's fiddling:

Berdien: ‘Fish with okra and a fried sweet potato. Life is fantastic. On Devil's Island.’

Rob: ‘And in the end, no fish caught. Potato on fire. It’s going to be another shitty day.’ Hahaha gotta love this dude.

6. I’m starting to really worry about the moisture that seems to be leaking from Nicolette's navel. Can someone help this woman?

7. So Camp South pushes Dionne forward to go into the ropes, while she hesitates. And then she has a panic attack and gets destroyed? ‘I see stars. I feel weak. I really don’t know what to do.’ Ah gus. A bit of sympathy.

8. But then there was the one and only Jaap. ‘It’s a game. Just go for it. She can’t do it. A sweetheart of a person, but she doesn’t have the energy for it. So guys, behave normally.’ Come on. Everyone deserves a Jaap in their life, right? Whether as a father, neighbor, uncle, or brother. AND THEN THIS GUY HAS TO GO OUT? NAAAAAA.

9. Pure age discrimination. Honestly a bit angry. I don’t really understand why they put a few over-fifties on that island every year because they always get voted out first anyway. I mean: just make an Expedition Senior. Or only play with youngsters.

10. Meanwhile, Shary-An is working hard on her first novel.

A mega close team, but meanwhile…

11. Thomas very sarcastically: ‘A flat stone? Yeah right? Okay… I’m very curious how you’re going to do this.’ Thomas half an hour later: ‘I uh, am actually cracking up over that flat stone. It was really a good idea…’

So. Mariana. That was quite a big middle finger to the world, huh, with your flatbread. And your jam. Good for you.

12. Conversation of the day for sure.

Jan: ‘My injury has really completely disappeared.’

PRRRRR.

Akwasi: ‘Did you just fart?’

Jaap: ‘Yeah, because I want to emphasize.’

13. If Hugo doesn’t make friends on Twitter but says what we all think. ‘I think Dionne is a sweetheart. Tough chick. Nice tattoos. I think it’s all fine. But physically, you have to be honest. And if they send Jaap away, it completely proves what kind of team it is.’

14. In the category laughing out loud at tweets:

•  ‘Don’t complain, Rob! Sylvie Meis has skipped lunch before and she survived it (by the skin of her teeth).’
• ‘What will you miss about Jaap: the farts he let out’… ‘When Pumba, your best friend, is voted out.’
• ‘Back in the day, when interior cleaners were still called cleaners and word artists were rappers.’
•  ‘Jaap is Erica Terpstra's sister, right? THAT PRETHOOFD. THAT LAUGH.’

P.S.: Heart at the bottom if your heart also breaks from this sentence from Jaap. ‘I provide some entertainment. I’m a party animal. Then I have to go negotiate there. I can’t do that at all.’ AAAAAH.

P.P.S.: More riots about Robinson? Follow me on Insta at @kikiduren and if you’re not tired of me yet, watch 5 Uur Live this afternoon where I will extensively discuss this episode with Daphne Bunskoek.

P.P.P.S.: Uh oh, next week trouble in the shop. Dionne: ‘Just shut your mouth, Hugo. Just shut up.’ That’s going to be trouble with a capital R.

We are in the front row. Joejoeee!