Kiki's Mollotenbrabbels

Ha, my fanatic little mole. Do you also realize that it's almost time to say goodbye? Next week it's over, man. Schluss. Alles ist vorbei. Really sucks, bye moles. 42 percent is on Sarah, 31 percent on Merel and 27 percent on Niels. Are we going to massively fall back this season because the makers have once again managed to screw us over? In any case, it's a nice trio. Will it be the razor-sharp news presenter, the cheerful musician or the I'm-dyslexic-but-über-enthusiastic actress? We'll see next week. You understand: there's plenty to babble about again. Seatbelts fastened, let’s go.

1. Alright, candidates. Are we ready? This is the very last chance to fill the pot. The pot that has stuck at 9550 euros. The lowest pot ever. ‘Really embarrassing. But yes, we do have a good Mole.’ SO SAYS SARAH. Who incidentally has been the longest treasurer ever. Okay, hi tunnel vision.

2. I think Nielson's pimple is the Mole. What do you think?

3. Tomboy Merel finally realizes that it's handy to share a room with a woman clothing-wise. DUHH. But come on ladies, the best waterproof outfit that comes out is a black tank top? Really? Jesus, how boring. Where is Olcay when you need her?

4. Gotta give props to the makers again, because I've never wanted to go to Colombia so badly. Those monkey sounds too, I spontaneously want to book a plane ticket and watch Jungle Book.

5. Is Niels seriously not going into that water for the log task???? Jeez. What a guy.

6. Oh god. Merel puts a feather in her diary. And the title of the episode is Drijfveer... You're not going to tell me that I've been following a program for two months, reading all those crappy blogs and forums, listening to podcasts, screen scrolling Twitter, and still have less of an idea than at the beginning?

7. Oh yes, also a good theory by the way: Mission of Love by Mariah Carey is Sarah's favorite hit, you say? Mission of Love? M+O+L? Hmmm...

8. Merel: ‘Looks good Niels, when you dance.’ It's sexy, Merel. Sexy.

9. Okay okay okay, suddenly we're sitting on our asses at an all-inclusive resort with fresh coconuts and we're going to clichédly name highlights of the season. You know, I'm just going to join in. My highlight? Robèrt.

10. The answer to that question will be given next week. POOP. DEAD. GLUE STICK. DIE.

P.S.: Is it already time to admit that we've been totally fooled by the program makers this year? That doesn't matter. But it is true.

P.P.S.: Applause for Niels' fantastically wrong beach blouse and T-shirt combo. If I ever get buried...

P.P.P.S.: My god. Just imagine, what if Niels is actually the Mole. Are we all in agreement that Robèrt gets the pot? Heart at the bottom if you agree.

NEXT WEEK LA GRANDE FINALE, MOLES. HUTS A NIFFAUW, BE NORMAL A NIFFAUW. BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!