Kiki's Temptation Island gibberish

Oehlala, good morning good morning, my disaster tourists. The moment of truth is approaching for the couples. Or should I say: half truth, Rodanya? Anyway: 15 days ago, four couples in Thailand took on the ultimate relationship test (let's skip the word ‘ultimate’ by the way) and today they will have to account for each other at the last campfire. Who survives this kamikaze game for adults and who goes home alone? Time to babble.

1. First things first: I don't know who does the styling for the show or is it that the presenters themselves are dragging their summer wardrobe to Thailand, but that pink glitter-Albert Cuyp dress of Annelien is really next level ugly. Sorry.

2. I don't know about you, but I don't need much to be happy on a Friday. Sidney trying to stuff a too big piece of toast with egg in his mouth is already enough. Or something.

3. The most confusing question regarding this season: is ‘give me a fist bump’ back in?

Seriously, you bunch of jumpy idiots, Brainpower called. Back in 2002. If he can have it back.

4. Props to Rick who really puts Sidney in his place when he says ‘sh*t Congolese’. ‘His name is Gaetan by the way. Gaetan.’ GO RICK!

5. If Sidney manages once again with his natural sense of drama to turn the situation to himself. ‘I think my heart is even more broken by the fact that she received these images.’ SAID NOBODY EVER HAHA.

6. Okay Heikki… That’s it. How he has behaved, how he reassures Milou, says things like: ‘I know everything about that girl’, his choice of words, pauses… I am in love. With a Belgian. Fuck my life.

7. Milou: ‘But you didn't doubt between me and Ayleen at all?’
Heikki: ‘NEVER EVER NOT! I thought you were in love with Jietse?!’
Milou: ‘Really not.’
Annelien: ‘But, is everything based on a misunderstanding?’

ALL OF NETHERLANDS IN CHORUS: ANNELIEN SHUT YOUR MOUTH.

8. Milou: ‘You did say it. I wrote everything down. Everything. Every image you have said…’

Heikki: ‘Okay, you psycho woman.’

9. Oh guys, give me a break. The farewell of turtle Laura and Maxime the biggest jerk on earth is also going smoothly. ‘Hug? No? Fist bump? Okay.’ And yes, there it is again.

10. And yes, Roger and Laura. Now that's what we call a happy reunion. Annelien:
‘If Temptation has proven one thing, it is that you two fit perfectly together.’ Eh, weren't those two broken up? Oh no, wait: back together since yesterday, god guys, I can't keep up with all this.

11. Oh help, vicarious embarrassment. The video message from Danicio. Ooh Rodanya, you little liar. How painful all this suddenly is. Ending with that ‘I got a little secret’ song. Look, THIS is making television.

P.S.: Oh my god. Next week. Will. Be. Even. Worse. Painful but true: heart at the bottom as the most exciting episode of this whole season is yet to come: the one from next week. I'm ready for the unmasking of Rodan, woohoo!

P.P.S.: Danicio next week: ‘Oh, and by the way, I have an STD.’

HAHAHA.