Kiki's Temptation Island gibberish: episode 15

My condolences, with the passing of our Friday morning chat. After analyzing for over three months what the heck went wrong in Thailand (a lot is an understatement), it's now time to lick wounds, heal, and not look back anymore. Or one more time then? Alright. Because it's still not enough to see how four out of five relationships have fallen, we also want to know how things were at home when the tropical paradise was exchanged for the daily routine.

For the very last time then: Tempah babbles. Just because we enjoyed it so much.

1. Seriously, if those two call each other ‘Fabri’ and ‘Pom’ one more time, I'm going to throw something hard. It's genuinely sad for Pommeline though. Damn Fabrizio. Yeah, sorry about that. What a pudding dick.

2. ‘Who burns their ass must sit on the blisters.’ I can imagine there are quite a few blisters on Pommeline's butt. About 62,000.

3. Still nice, such a retrospective. The distant boot scream that we had momentarily forgotten...

Shané: ‘I'm hotter than you, I'll take good care of him.‘

Channah: ‘Shut your mouth hooooerrrrr, I'll make you doooooooooood.’

HAHAHA.

Okay, sorry.

HAHAHA.

Best shot of the whole season.

4. Why does Liessinde always have to be shown doing sports? Does the best woman have any other hobbies? @RTL, people are getting complexes from that, yes. Meanwhile, we are sitting on the couch eating while watching that episode.

5. Life lesson of the season: love yourself like Orpheo loves Orpheo.

O: ‘Temptation has definitely made her trust me more...’

L: ‘After Temptation, I started to trust him less..’

Uh... help. Anyone?

6. When you’re trying to be friends with an ex but-you-feel-fucking-uncomfortable-but-pretend-like-it's-not...

‘Hey, snotnose.’

‘Hey, fatso.’

7. ‘If you want to be together for a long time, you sometimes have to take some space.’

‘We have become a bit more realistic in our shoes.’

‘The ultimate woman is the woman who can adjust transparently through cooking.’

I'm really going to miss these sentences, guys.

8. Some participants, on the other hand, prefer not to beat around the bush. ‘You can get a stiff dick, but it's just what you do with it.’ Damian and Shirley. It could have been so beautiful. I don't know. I still find it a shame.

9. ‘I'm not going to make a cheesy call to the camera that women can send me a DM. But it is allowed. So I'm going to do it now. That cheesy call. In hopes of a few numbers from chicks. Here it comes.’

10. When Yasmin said: ‘I know him so well.’ Giggle. Giggle. Giggle.

11. Tweet of the week: ‘I'm going to print Orpheo's statements on Delft blue tiles and produce a poetry collection from him. Next year, retiring.’

12. Oh no, wait. Linguistically, it was actually Damian who took this last episode to a higher level. ‘The focus is now on my careers.’

Hungry.

Hold.

Of.

This.

Crazy.

And.

His.

Eight.

Careers.

P.S.: The cookie is crumbled, friends. Can't make anything else of it. If you're thinking: oh gosh, what am I supposed to do with my life without juice to gossip about, then I would like to refer you babble friends from now on to Monday morning at 8:30 where we chat about another island: the Philippines. And, for interviews with candidates and other reality stuff, follow me on Instagram via @kikiduren.

P.P.S.: It's actually quite strange that we already knew whether all the couples were still together or not this season. That's a point of attention, RTL.

P.P.P.S.: Heart at the bottom if you think this was a gigantic epic season and believe that Quinten and Channah remain couple goals to the end despite everything. Damn... I'm not good at saying goodbye.

Goodbye my lovers.

Goodbye my friends...

You have been the one...

You have b– SHUT UP, JAMES BLUNT, WHAT A CRAPPY SONG.