Amayzine

Kiki’s Temptation Island Brabbels

temptation island brabbels footage from the episode of the candidates

CAMPFIRE, CAMPFIRE, CAMPFIRE! Want to riot too? Join the club. Last week was a pretty tame episode, so this week the production must have something tasty in store for us, right? The couples actually have no idea how their partners are dealing with temptation so far. Until now.

Oh yes, this is the episode we've been waiting for: it’s campfire time. Who will break the agreements made? How sick will the footage be twisted and distorted? Will Milou succumb to Jamie's heavily exaggerated Amsterdam thick tongue? How will it go with our Laura's third-degree burns? Everything we collectively thought during episode four, right in your face, hatsakee, let’s gooo.

1. Dear Lizzy, I’m sorry that I have to write him off for you, darling, but it seems necessary. Rule 1 in life: Never. Make. Eye contact. While. You. Eat. A. Banana.

2. Our Ikea cabinet Heikki is a bit caught up with the love declaration from tanning studio employee Armanda, and meanwhile, Milou is also being chased by a pack of hyenas. I don’t know about you, but this season is going to be fireworks, right? You get that.

3. I looked it up and condolences for Laura can be sent to ikbeneigenwijs@zonnebrand.com. We wish the bereaved a lot of strength, courage, and wisdom.

4. A little tip from the presenter: ‘Wear something light.’

All of the Netherlands on the couch: WELL RICK BRANDZWETER DO IT YOURSELF THEN WORST ADVICE EVER.

5. Gotta love Sidney part 347….

‘I don’t share things about my relationship with my friends either?’
‘Isn’t it my relationship?’
‘I don’t screw my friends in the ass?’
‘Uh, not that I do that with my girlfriend.’
*Silence…
‘Hahaha.’

6. Gotta love Sidney part 348…

‘You hear stories that even a grandpa cheats. Or something.’
Can I please have this quote framed somewhere in my house?

7. Gotta love Sidney part 349…

‘I feel a bit chased.
I don’t really know what to wear. Or if I should do my hair.
Should I put on a cap?
Should I not do my hair?
Or should I do it?
I do have a lovely cheerful outfit in mind.
Am I going to wear a blouse?’

Dude. I. FREAKING. LOVE. YOU.

8. A bit rude, production, that privacy is so hard to find that you can’t even apply lotion between your balls and your hair without cameras being on you immediately. Right, Sid?

9. Heikki: ‘I’m leaving. It stinks here in this place.’

Just still a total error after years when the Belgians start talking, huh? Can’t help it. Place. Sprotteke. Dress. Poepke. Wow, it gives me the creeps.

10. So Laura is quietly sitting, yawning, burned, half-dead, curled up in a corner. The reaction from her boyfriend Roger? ‘She looks good! She’s enjoying her time!’ Um. Okay, I actually find this couple the scariest.

11. And in the category of the best tweets of the week, I present to you….

  1. ‘Seems so chill to be a seductress that no one has a weakness for and then just enjoy free sunbathing, eating, and drinking in the background.’
  2. ‘First thought during the new #TempationIsland: wow, Rick’s shirt is not soaked! #proud’
  3. ‘Hey Morgan, Mezdi called. He wants his bathrobe back.’
  4. ‘R.E.S.P.E.C.T. For the man or woman who has to take care of the subtitles for Ayleen.’
  5. ‘I used to have feelings for Heikki, but I didn’t do anything about it back then.’ You can’t tell me this is generally civilized Belgian.’
  6. ‘Is Sidney serious or is this some kind of Jiskefet sketch?’
  7. ‘Roger: So I’m someone who sleeps 12 or 13 hours at home. Roger’s biggest Temptation? Staying awake.’
  8. ‘In short, Roger sleeps so much that he sleeps through 50% of Temptation Island. Good tactic though.’
  9. ‘Rodanya comes in at the last minute with a piece of wisdom: “Look. It can go two ways: the bad way or the good way.” THIS IS FREAKING PHILOSOPHY, PEOPLE!!!’
  10. ‘But she can’t stand it when someone touches her body.” Well, uh Heikki, we notice little of that.”
  11. ‘Demi with her guy: “OMG HE’S WALKING WITH HER HE’S GOING TO SCREW HER!!!” Demi with another guy: “Oh come on, she was probably just brushing her teeth.”’

P.S.: Dear people, if I want to see sweetness, then we’ll just watch Farmer Seeks Wife, okay? Go misbehave. We want to see drama and crying.

P.P.S.: Yeah sorry, but heart at the bottom if you agree.