Kiki's Temptation Island babbles
Bizzey is in your left ear: ‘There's sex in the air... Sex is in the air... Now she wants to come along, along, along, along...’ Joejoe, are all the disaster tourists present again? Good. Almost weekend buddies, hang in there. And you know: no weekend really starts without first talking about the most delightful, worst TV show in the Netherlands: Terror Tempah.
Last week we got to know the couples a little bit, the thirteen Demi's and the awkward flirting techniques of the men, this time it's the female singles who want nothing more than to strike when the meat is weak.
Unfortunately, no campfire in episode 3 (JERRY JERRY!), but the first single dates. So there I went last night, armed like a nerd with a pen and notepad. And this is what I thought.
1. We start the day again with two exploded villas with bottles of drinks and leftover butts. Just realize: you would be the cleaner of that resort... THE HORROR.
2. Hahaha, ice bunny Elza Laura and her teddy bear are doing that breakfast in bed badly, seriously baaaaad. Gaetan: ‘She's open to temptation, it's just waiting for the right moment.’ Okay, can we all get at least a bit of this man's optimism? A little? Come on?
3. Meanwhile, Jaimy once again amazes us with his flowery vocabulary. ‘Yeah, man. That body is really good, man. Yeah, G. I didn't know she was that slim, man. Big tits man, everything. She's easy, man.’
4. He immediately takes it further: ‘You're hotter than her boyfriend. You're taller than her boyfriend. And you have a bigger d**k than her boyfriend. She's definitely not going to be able to walk for two days.‘ Uh Jaim, how close are you and Timone exactly? Biggest. Nightmare. Of. A. Father. But. Really.
5. I'm getting a bit tired of that Roger, you know, with that whole ‘strategically’ withdrawing thing all the time. Just to finally end up with that ginger in athletic mode. Bet?
6. I get spontaneous arterial bleeding in my head the moment Ayleen starts talking. I'm trying to understand it. Is she Flemish? Does she come from the Achterhoek? What's up with that flatscreen on her eyes?
7. ‘It's just like a pizza, huh... Then you have to go harder sometimes. And I'm still an Italian.’ Gotta love Giorgio Armani.
8. Pure enjoyment.
‘The sporty click is already there as you can see...’
‘You have no hair, man.’
YOMAMA.
9. In the category favorite tweets:
1. ‘Episode 3/4 and still none of the Belgians have said the word koekerond. I'm secretly quite disappointed in the Belgians this year...’
2. ‘With all that hairspray, I would be careful with those torches #TemptationIsland.’
3. Rick shakes the pun of the year out of his sleeve for the four men: ‘Are you guys a bit... Thai?’
4. ‘Sidney should become a hairdresser or importer of wigs and hairpieces with his weird obsession.’ HAHA.
5. What I always find beautiful are those polite Belgians with their ‘you’:
‘I like you. I'm proud of you. I messed with you and I have another woman on the side.’ That makes cheating sound so much more pleasant.
10. Hey wait, Laura is getting loose! It talks! It dances! It has the... oh, it's going to sleep. Being anticlimactic can also be an art.
11. Oh no, wait, I actually understand those third-degree burns. I mean: come on man, her legs are redder than Lizzy's hair. And then getting a massage as a date too, the horror!
11. ‘Dear Demi. I will kick you out of our house and burn your clothes if you do anything with these losers.’ Simple, effective, clear. I'm a Sidney fan. Can someone please tell that man that his perfume use is not normal?
13. ‘I actually don't want to create a wrong impression,’ says Milou, crying in bed.
No, Milou, the production will do that. HAHAHA.
Until next weeeheeek! (CAMPFIRE! CAMPFIRE!) Oh dear, already looking forward to it.
P.S.: Suddenly I realize: HEY, where are the fireworks? I miss them.
P.P.S.: We're not dozing off, are we, everyone? Heart at the bottom if you've read this and are completely cracking up over that little glasses of Big Friendly Bear Giorgio (when are we going to eat pasta together, friend?!).
