Kiki’s Temptation Island Brabbels: episode 6
Ha, disaster tourists! A very sexy good morning. This was the episode we’ve been waiting for, right? Campfire two, olaadiejeee, bring on the juice, baby. Oh no, it was actually not that bad. Wow, we’re already halfway through this season and the drama level still needs to peak, right? Were we spoiled last year by Megan and Joshua? By the I’m-going-to-do-dirty-things-with-your-girl-friend Alex? By the 100 cc-per-butt Kelly? The wigs of Zwanetta AND the bipolar/billiard balls throwing Rosanna? Wait a minute… Is Temptation sinking under its own success? God, hope not. Luckily, we have Sidney and Heikki in the Thai animation team to spice things up a bit, because we have absolutely NOTHING from the ‘I’m-going-to-sleep, see you, Morgan’ and ‘Copy-that-Roger’. Well, if even Rick and Annelien are starting to get annoyed by the pussy behavior…
Well, shall we continue? I watched Temptation Naailand and this is what I thought.
1. Do I see a drop of sweat on Brandstoker again? That darling never learns.
2. HAHAHA: when the voice-over totally screws you over.
Danicio, who after flirting with Rodanya wanted to try ‘something different from the menu’, looks semi-seductively into the camera: ‘Well, who can resist me?’
Voice-over: ‘Milou had no problem with that last night…’ *Puts chair in front of the door.
3. Okay, that’s awkward. Heikki and Roger are having some sort of eh, argument over nothing? ‘You’re attacking me!’ I would totally be the wrong person for this. If I had an argument with a Fleming and suddenly hear a ‘funny word’, I’d already be laughing uncontrollably. But okay, pull yourself together. JERRY, JERRY! TEAM HEIKKI!
4. I swear to you: if Milou cries one more time on that bed without having seen any footage, I’ll drive to Belgium to do dirty things with Heikki. Armed with a zucchini and vaseline. What. A. Tiring. People. Together.
5. ‘I know what she’s into. She doesn’t like dark guys either.’ Eh, Sidney, buddy, ‘not either’? Language?
6. ‘It seems like a path of suffering for her.’ Jeeeeeeezus, what is Rick Brandstoker doing throwing oil on the (camp)fire, it’s unbearable. Annelien is also quite fed up with it. She puffs on the ground and throws the torch at Laura: ‘You two are such homebodies. Why are you participating then, for heaven's sake?!’ Okay, I’m exaggerating. But honestly: sounds delightful.
7. If Laura’s answer is as satisfying as the season… ‘To see if we change in a different situation. I see now that we don’t. I see that we remain ourselves.’ Nope, pitbull Annelien won’t settle for this answer. ‘You have to enjoy it a bit, of course. You participate to step out of that comfort zone, but it seems like neither you nor Roger are doing that at all.’ Laura bounces the ball back: ‘We enjoy in our own way. I see nothing wrong with that.’ Is this going to be the first season where even the production gets a headache from a cast couple?
8. Or, and I’m seriously considering this option, is this one big mindfuck and do the creators know that there’s nothing more fun than making a season epic by letting a boring couple participate so we all start complaining on social media and the show goes viral? Hmm. I think I rest my case.
9. If you have a splinter in your finger, know your sense of drama and suddenly relate very much to your spirit animal Rodanya who suddenly walks on crutches. HAHA.
10. If you find it seriously childish of yourself but can’t control your irritation level anymore and get the chills from everything that comes out of Roger’s mouth. ‘Lizzy is a company I appreciate. She has an inner self that I appreciate.’ Buddy. I. Smack. Your. Face.
11. Milou: ‘If he falls for that, then I never, ever need a man again. Then, I’ll just become a lesbian.‘ DID YOU SEE LAURA CATCHING HER IN THE ACT. Hey Lau, I get you. I wouldn’t feel good about that denture of Ro either.
12. If I die, can I reincarnate as Sidney? ‘Look at that little frog there by Morgan’s door. That little frog. Or a koala, big toad or whatever it is. Look, that frog is free. It can go wherever it wants.‘ *Snorts.
13. *Just now understands the title episode: ‘The princess and the frog’. HAAAAAA. The creators are brilliant.
14. Which immediately brings me to my favorite title from last year:
‘Sorry mama’.
Kevin, rest in peace.
15. And rapapapaa… In the category of favorite tweets of this week, I present to you:
- ‘Undoubtedly the most intense episode of #TemptationIsland so far. Painful too. Rick Brandsteder says puuzels. PUUZELS.’
- ‘2004: everyone is sleeping with everything that moves. 2019: ‘I hope she’s happy and having a good time.”
- ‘Sidney at the bar. When you invited the whole class but no one comes to your birthday party.’
- ‘You know you’ve drunk too much when you start talking to a frog.’
”So yeah, who can resist me?’ NOT RESIST. The jokes write themselves. Jesus, this level.’ - ‘And to think this is edited, meaning it’s the best they could make of it… Sleepy Island…’
16. Luckily, the fleshly clean will finally be expanded next week with two new seducers. You understand: we want more action. And quickly a bit.
P.S.: HAHAHAH OMG THE RAP FROM SIDNEY, I have cried. At many requests, the lyrics written out…
I’m sitting here on a little chair
But I don’t know what to do
But I can’t sleep
But I’m not… a fool
And I’m not tired yet
That’s why I’m sitting here on this chair
But I can’t talk
Because I have nothing to say
And I only talk nonsense
But that’s not true because I…
And hold on, now comes my favorite part:
…
Re te te…
And I’m not done yet…
And I find it quite strange…
I only hear strange things
But I’m not strange
P.P.S.: Lil’ Kleine? Ali B? Where’s that record deal?! Heart at the bottom if we want to see this man IN the next season of The Voice.
Re te te…
