Quite bizarre things that dog owners do

On Monday, I walked into our office with a groomed dog. From a fluffy little sheep, she had suddenly transformed into Dobby from Harry Potter. Everyone said something about it (mostly affectionately but with a hint of shock), until Lilian called everyone to order. ‘You shouldn't say that, it's sad. She feels that.’ Et voilà, there we have the dog owner and lover caught. They do other things, namely.

1. Arms and legs

No paws. Those two at the front are arms, at the back legs. When Nola, Lil's dog, is sitting in the passenger seat and she places her paw on the door, Lil exclaims: ‘Look at her sitting there with her arm out the window!’

2. Go to your father

Well, how do you say that? You tell the dog to go to your beloved. Then you find it quite strange to suddenly call him by name because you actually never do that. You call him ‘dear’ or a derivative, your children say ‘daddy’, do you suddenly have to say his full name? So we say: ‘Go to your father.’ But we have to laugh about it, of course. And the father in question doesn't like it much, I believe.

3. Face

What do you mean by head? Not even head. Your dog has a face.

4. Take a photo every day

Because really, she has never looked cuter than now. Not at all. Just look. You don't even look.

5. Politely look away during number two

Your dog deserves her privacy too.

6. A fresh collar

You get a coat, she gets a collar.

7. Don't move

Your leg is extremely asleep, but you don't want to move because your dog is sleeping so comfortably against you.

8. Not on vacation

Or at least not by plane. Because yes, how else should that be? So unsociable. And better for the environment on top of that.

9. Cooking for your dog

It should be clear that I don't do this (I'm not exactly excelling in culinary skills), but my friend D does. I don't eat junk, so my dog doesn't either, that's her motto.