Science says: if you do this, the chance of your relationship falling apart is greater
A whole butterfly garden of feelings in your stomach, the ‘this is the one' feeling and the plans to grow old together. No one who starts a relationship can imagine that the fairy tale might someday end, but the harsh reality is that one in three marriages fails. Half of relationships, by the way. Please don’t shoot the messenger.
But imagine, what if there is some kind of formula that you could check in advance to see if your relationship will make it or not, would you want to know? Well, there is. At least, science has made an attempt to establish predictive indicators for the success or failure of a relationship. And what turns out? Couples who are particularly clingy and affectionate at the beginning of their relationship tend to break up sooner.
Research – in which 168 couples were followed for 13 years – shows that it is precisely the couples who showed a lot of love for each other at the beginning of their relationship who broke up more often. ‘The couples who separated after more than seven years of marriage were extremely affectionate as newlyweds. They showed almost a third more affection than the people who were still happily married after many years,’ the researchers write.
When you think about it, it actually makes sense. The extremely in-love couples only see the positive sides at the beginning. When those butterflies eventually fade, they turn out to be much less compatible than they thought at first, while couples who experience a more even flow of love are less surprised and therefore tend to stay together more often. At least, that’s the reasoning. Oh, and fun fact: divorces seem to occur more often among people who spend a lot of money on a wedding. Hmmm.
Other signals for the beginning of the end according to the researchers? Taking each other for granted, making little effort for each other, and not valuing each other enough anymore. So uh oh, you know what to do when the alarm bells ring… Guus too, by the way. Pump or move, that’s the only way…
Source: The Independent
