Ten unnecessarily retarded facts you're still glad you know now

You should know that this section actually started as a joke, but people, how much do we enjoy it. The nonsensical trivia. SO THEY STAY! With today’s special: crazy tidbits about the animal kingdom. Of the very entertaining kind this time, if I may say so. Here it comes.

1. Female penguins engage in prostitution. Researchers observed how they had sex with easy penguins (who were not their partners) in exchange for pebbles that they used to build a nest. HAHAHA. I don't know if I find this really practical or very sad.

2. Oh, and speaking of penguins and pebbles: male penguins propose to females with a pebble. They choose the most beautiful and shiniest pebble for the female of their choice. If the female accepts the pebble, she takes it to her nest and then the male gets to mate with her. Ah gus.

3. The body temperature of an elephant is, uh, freaking hot. A whopping ninety degrees, people, the beast is almost boiling. If you’re wondering why they have such large and thin ears: that’s how they lose that heat.

4. That hummingbirds are hysterically cool creatures and can even fly backwards, upside down, and sideways aside, the creature literally cannot walk. Its legs are too weak and small to support it.

5. Male fruit flies that cannot find a mate are more likely to reach for alcohol than fruit flies that easily attract females. SWEEP. ME. UP.

6. Ieeee. The sperm of mice is longer than that of elephants. Mice are sexually very active and need large testicles to produce enough.

7. Some Chinese and American alligators survive the winter by freezing their heads in ice. Only their noses stick out to keep breathing.

8. Most elephants weigh less than the tongue of a blue whale.

9. Oysters can change sex multiple times. Let me explain. All oysters are born male, but usually change sex after about a year and can change back if they want. Yes, an oyster is therefore capable of producing both eggs and sperm. What a boss.

10. Pufferfish outsmart their enemies by swallowing water. This causes them to swell up so much that other fish cannot swallow them. Like: if you eat me, friend? Ha. You’ll choke. Brilliant.