The 15 things you should not say to a woman who hasn't had her period

Even though we ourselves say that we are, even though our behavior screams hormones, even though it has all the outward characteristics, there are things you better not say to a woman on her period. Just because you love your life and you love us.

1. ‘You look a bit tired, did you sleep poorly?’ I said to Lilian this morning, the tirade that followed was not mild. Not mild.

2. ‘You don’t have to react so angrily…’ We always decide that ourselves.

3. ‘I don’t think so.’ A discussion in itself is particularly unwise.

4. Just don’t talk about how much we eat.

5. ‘You just have to say yes all the time,’ said the father-in-law to the son-in-law. No way.

6. ‘A real skipper also sails the Red Sea.’ You won’t get far without a boat.

7. ‘But you already said that two weeks ago, didn’t you?’ No, smart aleck.

8. ‘You have a pimple.’ Even if it’s like the peaks of the Himalayas, we don’t want to know.

9. ‘Don’t be so dramatic.’ I wish you all my period pains at once when you say this.

10. ‘Couldn’t you have said that earlier?’ Somewhere between foreplay and the act, ouch, little man, hide.

11. ‘Then you don’t have to react to me…’ YES YOU DO.

12. ‘Just leave her alone, she’s on her period.’ But we’re not unruly toddlers that need subtitles.

13. ‘Are you all on it at the same time?’ When you tell that you work in an editorial team with nine women, as if we are a brooding hen installation.

14. ‘Well, at least you’re not pregnant.’ And what does that have to do with anything?

15. And never, ever say: ‘Are you on your period or something…’ Try it once, then you’ll know why.