The 5 Tinder dates from hell that everyone knows
Mister Right (or Mrs.) is no longer just met in the pub (so old-fashioned), but we are swiping en masse. And with a preference to the right. Admittedly: Tinder dates can also be really fun, but every now and then there is a so-called rotten apple in between. Later you can laugh about it (like now), but oh, those dates can be so awkward. Every now and then I have looked around for a candid camera moment. But you as a single know that the life of All The Single Ladies is not just fun and dancing to Beyoncé, but sometimes just a Tinder nightmare from hell. And if you've been in that Tinder hell, you've definitely experienced these moments too.
1. The Tinder King/Queen
Being on a date with a man (or woman) who has pretty much mastered Tinder, well, you don't really feel special about it. Especially not when this Tinder playboy is anything but modest about his stories. And so you spend most of the evening listening to his Tinder experiences, which sound like there are thousands of them. Not cool. Just a warning: this can go both ways, you know. Getting overconfident from your week of swiping and running into your Tuesday date on Saturday with your Saturday night Tinder date is not really the impression you want to leave, believe me. So here too: enjoy, but do it in moderation.
2. The Unprepared Dater
Okay, whether the date went well or not doesn't even matter with this turn-off. It's 2019, and splitting the bill or having women treat: it can all happen. Also holding doors open and pulling out chairs: totally fine. But if someone insists on paying for you and you see a disapproving beep and a big ‘NO BALANCE’... Ouch. A mix of pity, but I can't help it if I really find this a no-go.
3. The Appearance Mismatch
It sounds superficial, but the eye wants something too. And I'm not just talking about appearance, but about height. I'm quite lucky because I'm a reasonable dwarf myself, so this is just an anecdote from one of my single girlfriends who herself is around 1.80 m tall. That 1.80 m tall Tinder date couldn't reach that, unless jumping. It's nice to know this in advance, of course.
4. The Tikkie Tinder Date
Everything goes well, or just fine, maybe nothing special but you both found each other nice. Sure, you won't become the ultimate Tinder Romeo and Juliet, but hey, it was a nice evening, right? Until the next day you get a message that he ‘doesn't really feel it‘ and whether you could pay half of the bill after all. Bonus point if the Tikkie is sent right after. If you want to be that guy/girl, then be man enough to do that right away.
5. The It-Could-Have-Been-So-Nice Date
This is also one of the anecdotes from a girlfriend of mine, which we were particularly enthusiastic about. It could have been the Happn fairytale (yes, that still exists of course) of the century. She met a guy while going out, there was a spark, they kissed but unfortunately no numbers were exchanged and afterwards it was a bummer. But modern romance takes place online, so she quickly encountered him during a short search on Happn. And the date followed. And it was... not so great. No, it was terrible. Looks are really not everything, because annoying jokes, superficiality, and a dose of arrogance do not compensate for those looks at all.
6. The How-Is-It-Actually-With-You?-Tinder Date
This is probably the most common turn-off and everyone has probably experienced it at some point. The person across from you, no matter how nice, sweet, and charming they seemed, can only talk about one thing: themselves. Now I find passion and ambition very attractive and sharing is caring, but such a one-sided conversation quickly becomes boring. And my ideal date is not listening for hours to his oh-so-interesting job in the Zuidas, his demanding job where he really earns buckets of money (bragging about salary is always a no-go), why he is the most successful in his department, and more and more and more. Nice for him, of course, but also nice for you if someone asks what you actually do.
Well, Tinder. It's quite something. But even these disaster stories make it very funny to complain about later. And yes, there are success stories too. So far, the first Tinder houses in my area have been bought, the first Tinder babies are on the way (and I really hope they will also be named Tinder, who knows that might be the most popular name worldwide in five years), so yes, who knows, your true love might just be one swipe away. Who says romance is dead?
Written by: Wieke Veenboer
