The hell that is the changing room of the swimming paradise

I don't know a single mother who goes to swimming lessons with a skip in her step. Because it's 47 degrees, for example. And because every week there's an attempt to break the world record for fitting people into a small space. Those kinds of things.

But if you think you've left hell behind as soon as they've reeled in their A, B, and C, you're mistaken. Because once those diplomas are in hand, swimming must happen. So when we were sleeping in a hotel that bordered a tropical swimming paradise, I had no excuse. Off we went. If you've been there, you recognize this. If you haven't been, read on and you'll have a hundred reasons to rent a bike.

1. How does that changing room close?

You get an intense aha-Erlebnis when you step into the changing room. It's one of those booths that opens on both sides and closes by folding part of the bench back when you've closed both doors. Extremely awkward, because you actually want to leave one side open since you're close to your locker. You can do that, but it's a hassle.

2. Why don't we fit in that changing room?

Yes, there are family booths, but of course, they're full. But isn't everyone who goes to a tropical swimming paradise part of a family? You wouldn't go there alone, would you? So why don't they make the family room the standard with a few small booths as exceptions? Just a thought.

3. Where on earth do I have that fifty cents?

Ah, at the bottom of the bag, of course. It doesn't matter that four pairs of underwear fall to the floor immediately. It's spotless here, right?

4. Your locker is not your locker

So you've stuffed all your belongings into a locker and are now looking at how to lock it. Ah, there's a machine at the corner. I follow the process and pling says the machine: locker 186 is open. But... I've put all my stuff in locker 245. So I have to take it out and move it now?

5. Locker 186 is closed again

Locker 186 is open for exactly ten seconds, so when you arrive with your arms full of shoes, jackets, clothes, and underwear, you're standing in front of a closed door.

6. Back to the machine

And there's a line again.

7. Where do I put those clothes when I have to enter all those codes and throw that damn fifty cents into the machine?

8. Ah, kids! Just hold onto something.

9. Ah, my underwear falls to the floor again. Doesn't matter. It's spotless here.

10. Okay, we get a new locker. Run, stuff, push, and off to the slide.

11. We're going home again. My oldest and autistic daughter always takes off her swimsuit when she goes to shower. Here too. Because while the changing rooms may be solitary booths, the shower is for everyone. Man, woman, and everything in between is welcome.

12. My other daughters run away screaming in embarrassment.

13. I have to keep the towel around her while also trying to find our locker back.

14. With your wet arms, you grab the clothes from the locker.

15. Of course, the whole bunch of clothes from that little bench in that small changing room falls to the floor.

16. Ah, my panties fall under the edge into the booth of the people next to us.

17. Why did I wear a red pair of underwear today?

18. My changing room neighbor pushes it back.

19. A

20. W

21. K

22. W

23. A

24. R

25. D

26. Ah, my girl is wearing tights.

27. Great.

28. Your daughter, that one, pees in the changing room.

29. Your daughter, that one, shouts that she has peed in the changing room.

30. You consider looking extremely to the left and ignoring it, but you still fumble for a bottle of water in your bag and rinse everything a bit towards the drain.

31. You suddenly think this must happen more often.

32. And then you think again about that underwear.

33. We're going home.

34. When they ask if we're going again tomorrow, you sigh.