The invitation separation

It happens everywhere, from weddings to children's parties. One group gets to join for dinner, the second-ring friends have to entertain themselves for a while and can join later on the dance floor with the cover band. For children's parties, group chats are created: one for the party and one for the sleepover.

I don't have a problem with that per se, because you are simply closer to one than the other, but if the division happens on the same day, I think I have some trouble with it. Because it clearly shows the difference between the privileged people and the less fortunate (I'm exaggerating, let me also write a bit with an opinion).

When we were still young and juicy and tumbling over weddings, my beloved and I often received the invite where we were welcome at the ceremony and the party, but had to dine ourselves in between. “We won't make it to that party,” was our standard answer. Because we would already be drunk, we said.

A bit exaggerated, but if I have shed six tears during the ceremony, then drank champagne, had two white wines at the reception, and then had to wait three hours at home on the couch to move back to the party, I feel more like watching a DVD (that was in the pre-Netflix era) and having a cup of tea. So we bluntly indicated in advance that we wouldn't make it to the last part of their beautiful day.

At children's parties, I sometimes find it painful when I see half of the kids arriving with bulging bags because they also get to enjoy the sleepover afterwards. Yes, if you belong to the happy few, you are extra happy, that's just how I am. And I also understand that you can't accommodate everyone and that a dinner for 100 people is just a bit above your budget.

But if I could give my unsolicited advice: keep your wedding very small (I know, that's also separation, but fully) where you give everyone everything and have a drink/party for everyone a few weeks later, hold that sleepover on a different day than the party itself (then your child has two nice birthday moments) or make it all just a bit simpler at your wedding so you can provide food and drinks for everyone. My favorite weddings were the simplest with homemade apple pie and a home tap, but where everyone was together all day.

Or you can just not care about me, that's fine too. As long as you know that there is a risk of dropping out.