This is how you emigrate

I am writing this post during what I hope is the last cold winter day of this year. After this horror month in which I stopped counting how many times I got caught in the rain or almost blown off my bike, I can only think of one thing and that is emigrating. Now I have a very brave 21-year-old daughter who has actually done it. She lives in the tropical part of Australia and doesn't even own a winter coat anymore. I decided to interview her about how you approach such a big step as emigration exactly.

How long had you had the plan to emigrate?

‘I always knew that I wanted to live in Australia. Diving has been my great passion since I was young and I knew: one day I will become a diving instructor on the Great Barrier Reef. I made the decision when we were on vacation in Bali. We were sitting on the beach, I saw the sun set and I realized that I am always so much happier in the tropics. I feel much more like myself than in the Netherlands. At that moment I decided that I was going to take the step.’ (Tip for parents who don’t want their child to disappear to the other side of the world: never take them to faraway places.)

And then you went, at eighteen.

‘I really underestimated that. I had never lived on my own and had never even been on vacation alone, so it was quite a big transition. The first month I was in Bali to finish my diving training. I arrived, my hostel turned out to be in the middle of nowhere, no one spoke English there and I felt so alone. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to handle it. But then I called you and you immediately arranged a stay right next to the diving school and then it felt a bit better. A week later, I had already made friends and felt at home.’

I could kick myself for letting you go. Then you also fell off your scooter the day before you flew to Australia. You got on the plane with all kinds of wounds. I actually wanted to fly to you immediately, but I was in a very big work project. In hindsight, I think: I should have just let that work go. In the long run, nothing is as important as your child.

‘I also left my bag on the bus the day after, remember? But luckily I got it back with everything still in it. The beginning was a big adventure. I became a diving instructor in the Great Barrier Reef, my dream was achieved. But after six months, I found it difficult, especially after dad and Jiri (her little brother, MP) had visited. Life in Australia is very expensive and I underestimated how hard it is to support yourself financially. And I missed you terribly. Many people have a decision moment after six months. The excitement wears off, you get into a routine. It’s really a reality check: is it really as fun here as it seemed beforehand?’

What qualities do you need to thrive in a completely different environment where you know no one?

‘You have to be open-minded and flexible. Many things are not as you had hoped, so you have to be able to deal with setbacks very well. I also think it helps enormously if you are friendly, then everything goes a bit smoother. After the scooter incident, I checked in at the hostel in Cairns. The wounds had become infected, I had a fever and felt terrible. I asked the receptionist where the nearest doctor was. She looked at me and said that if I could wait half an hour, she would take me herself. There are kind people everywhere in the world who want to help you. I have learned that from this adventure.’

And what else do you advise people who want to take the big step?

‘Keep a diary. In the beginning, that is your best friend, because you don’t immediately have someone to talk to. It helped me tremendously to organize my thoughts and write down frustrations and fears.’

Will you ever come back home? Please, please, please? Or at least move to Spain or something. Something that is not a 24-hour flight.

‘I agree with you that I went too far away too young. It was really very difficult. I was optimistic and naive and had many unpleasant experiences. For example, I thought someone was my friend, but he told everyone behind my back that he was sleeping with me. I also had a diving accident that means I can no longer dive and my employer treated me like shit. I cried a lot, but I also learned a lot. Still, I never wanted to go back to the Netherlands because I love the nature and the weather here so much. People are much more relaxed here. And also because I thought: I started this, I have to prove that I can do this. We are now three years later and I am very happy now. I am much more mature and I have gathered nice people around me.’