What it means when couples share a lot of photos of each other on Instagram
Of course, it's sweet and nice when you show your lover to the outside world for a moment, after all, you’re spooning with this person night after night.
And so your partner can also appear on your timeline for a bit. A sultry kiss, a nice vacation snapshot, that kind of idea. Just showing off your cozy weekend getaway on your Insta feed. But especially don’t post too many photos of your sweetheart. Because those who are guilty of all those photos that are oh so #couplegoals are actually not being very smart. According to research, showing the love you feel for your partner online is not a successful formula. Researchers call it the ‘visibility of your relationship’. You share that bouquet of flowers you received out of the blue, you show how nice his or her new haircut is, and you give a kiss here and a hug there. You want recognition from others, but why actually? It’s not a sign of true love, unfortunately. Those who seek a lot of validation from others on social media are actually more insecure in the relationship.
The people who like to show online how in love and happy they are are ultimately the unhappiest. According to scientists, they are actually worried about whether the other will leave them one day leaves. The more afraid they are that it will end, the more they show their love. They want to show that everything is going well, while behind those closed doors it might not be the case at all. Because, well, if everything is fine, why would you want to ask for a heart from some vague acquaintance or former classmate? There’s something to it.
It has to do with what they call attachment in psychology. It all relates to your upbringing and how the bond with your parents is. You can be securely attached: then there’s not much going on and you stand strong enough in your shoes to choose your own path. You can absolutely love someone and live easily with someone, but you can also manage on your own. And just knowing that makes you a great partner. You are with someone because you want to, not because you feel like you have to. If you are insecurely attached, you have more problems. You can become very clingy out of fear of abandonment and you erase your own life. You might stay with someone just because you’re afraid of being alone. And precisely those people, according to researchers, post more photos of their love bird on social media.
Sometimes I hear my husband complain: ‘Hey, do I still exist on your Instagram? It’s just Tessa in front of a wall or Tessa sipping a cocktail on the beach. And girlfriends. And babies.’ Well, be glad about it, darling. It’s only because things are going so well between us.
