With our pants down: our most embarrassing blunders while traveling

We had just landed in Bali and were driving by taxi to the hotel. Once we arrived, I got out of the car and almost stepped on a small, colorful dish with pieces of fruit, flowers, and herbs. Around it was a shitload of ants.

In the days that followed, I saw more and more of those little dishes on the street. Especially on the sidewalk in front of houses and hotels. “I think they do that to attract insects to that spot. How clever, right!” I can still hear myself saying that. Only after about four days did we find out that there are small, colorful offerings everywhere on the street to ward off evil spirits. I think I’ve rarely felt such an idiot. We didn’t know much.

Fortunately, I'm not the only idiot traveling. No, we have quite a few of those here at the editorial office. Right, colleagues?

Lilian: ‘We went on a road trip to Paris with the whole team, and May and I were in the car together. When we finally arrived at the address of our hotel, we looked at each other. Uh, are we there? Right? Is this correct? It turned out we were at exactly the same address, but in some vague, French village. We had to drive an hour and a half back to ‘real’ Paris and we cursed and peed our pants laughing along the way.’

Adeline: ‘I had landed in Dubai and thought the baggage claim was still coming, so I kept walking. And walking. And walking. And before I knew it, I was outside. Yes: we were indeed the idiots who missed our bags. Seriously walked right past it. And then try to get back into that hall.’

May: ‘I went to Vietnam and didn’t know you needed a visa there… Luckily, we had a layover in Malaysia where we could eventually arrange that paper, but we were already almost looking at hotels when we spontaneously had to go on vacation to Malaysia.’

Lynn: ‘In Sydney, you have international and domestic flights, and there are two separate airports for that. You guessed it: twenty minutes before my flight was scheduled to start, I found out that I – SHIT – was not at the right airport at all. I immediately jumped into a taxi and thank god made the flight just in time. But, well, it’s not good for your blood pressure, I’ll just say that.’

Kiki: ‘Should I top off again? Got a moment? Lil and I went to Milan for Fashion Week, and at the airport, I found out that my passport was still, uh, at home. PANIC ALL AROUND. Just read this. 

Oh, and on that same trip, by the way, on the way back I also caused panic for the second time at the airport. I received an email from a hotel staff member with the text: Dear Kiki, just to let you know, you forgot your laptop at the concierge desk. Please let us know how we should proceed. Best regards, Giovanni. Are you 26 or are you 14 and have you had six breezers? I could have cried. It cost 120 euros to send that damn thing urgently.

You understand: I win this battle of shitty stories.’