8x The best of Chantal Janzen

There are those women you wonder how they do it. Being a nice mother, being active and attentive on social media, presenting 47 programs in between, and then also having improved your English to an incredibly high level in just six months. Now I must say I don't know what Chantal's English was like before, but man, she was exceptionally good, funny, smooth, and attractive again. A delightful reason to serve up the best jokes from Chantal once more.

1. We see two little girls in the bathroom, one hanging over the toilet on her knees, vomiting, while the other holds her hair. The text: ‘Your friend had way too many Capri-Suns yesterday…’

2. Hi, hoooooooiiii.
Our child woke up 12 times last night.
12 times.
TWELVE.
Greetings!

3. Stomach flu hoor.
So he didn't do it because he hates us.
We now do hate him.
Just kidding.
Well, a little.

4.  You slept through! The whole night. You can do that once in a while, right, after 15 months. You're almost old enough to get your moped license, man. When you're 18, I'm moving in with you, I'll poop in your bed every night and wake you up every weekend at 5:30 AM. Okay?

5. I just switched bikinis with a sleeping child on my arm. Does the Chinese State Circus still exist?

6.Children under nine have a club where they conspire to sleep in during the week and get up early on weekends. I’m sure of it.

7. Selling doesn't work, throwing away is cruel, and putting it outside is also something because what will the neighbors say. So I’ll just keep it. But only because it’s such a wonderfully smelling creature.

8. Guys, I have such a huge pimple on my forehead that I think I'm going to rent out rooms in it.

I can tell you: follow @chantaljanzenofficial and you will just never be grumpy again. Or at least not for long.