Airplane things that I just really don't understand

Mixed feelings: I sometimes have it with people. Sometimes with certain dishes. But ALWAYS when flying. Super fun and super stupid. Completely excited and completely ugh no desire. And then there's also the modest list of things I don't understand on the plane. Okay, the big list....

Those square little cups with three sips of water

I mean: bottles are of course too precious. No, you get a three-sip cup that's one centimeter high, from which you can peel off a little sheet to drink from, which always goes wrong because there's no specific notch for the water to come out. There's also no straw that you can conveniently poke through the foil. No, it's just that square-cup misery. Just to hype up your flight. I don't get it.

So you can't take a nail clipper on the plane but you do get a fork in business class

Those nail clippers. Super dangerous, of course. Imagine accidentally clipping someone in the nose. Or just running after the flight attendant with one of those things. Brrr. No, I would know what to do. If I ever had weird plans on the plane, I would just steal my weapon from business class and skip the hassle of smuggling that nail clipper.

No one knows how to raise that aisle armrest
In fact, we all think it can't be done. Well, it can also go up, via a little button somewhere under your armrest. But they hide it. Handy if you want to sit a bit wider, although many flight attendants will ask you to put it back in place. I think it's arm discrimination.

Why airlines have no rules about reclining your seat or not

Why not have a yes-and-no zone, just like with smoking on the terrace? Then no one gets annoyed with each other and you choose for yourself. Why is this not being thought about?

Why you sometimes have to take everything out of your bag at the baggage claim and sometimes not

Almost shouting that the laptop has to come out and then shouting again that nothing, absolutely nothing, should be taken out of that bag. One time my coat in my entire makeup bag including water bottle goes through the scanner and the other time my bag is already tackled before I even go through the scanner. I don't get it.

That you can't have loose baggage on the – empty – seat next to you during takeoff
No, those bags go under your seat, otherwise it's dangerous. It can shift and then people might fall. But people trip over them much earlier when they're on the ground, or am I saying something really crazy?

That people who never drink tomato juice suddenly order tomato juice on the plane

Sweet is almost undetectable on the plane, they say. But salty flavors are. Hence. Well, I still don't understand why you suddenly order tomato juice and not a bag of chips.

That there's still a cigarette signal in every airplane

How long has it been since you could no longer smoke on planes? How long are we going to keep saying that it's not allowed? You wouldn't say you can't have sex on the plane, would you? Well, why don't they actually do that? Do you know how many people do that, man! The Mile High Club? Katja, are you reading along?

That they still make flight attendants do the walk of shame with that perfume cart that no one actually wants

Including themselves. Oh wait, even worse (Italian airlines are great at this): that they sell LOTTERY TICKETS in that duty-free cart. Does anyone seriously buy those? Why don't we come up with something new? A gin and tonic cart that comes by? Fun mini-games for two euros, for when you're bored to death? Nice bikinis on a rack? Who knows.