BACHELORETTE BRABBELS: 10 THINGS I THOUGHT ABOUT EPISODE 5

Hey hey! Is it time for some nice BB’ing again? Chit-chatting yes, about The Bachelorette, the show that we all supposedly don’t watch (just like Temptation Island) but that we’re actually totally into. I don’t know what it is. Is it Gaby? Is it the boys? Is it Rick Brandstoker? Just the whole format? Donno. But what I do know is that Gaab's search for love intrigues us. 10 things we need to talk about after episode 5.

1. Ooh ooh ooh, this Doctor Love feels good vibes with Jordy the jeans maker during the abseil date. He’s really the only alpha male in the group who seems to protect her, right? Do women really fall for that.

2. I don’t know what this says about my backbone, but I suddenly also doubt whether to eat popcorn and chocolate together. Is that stuff really good?

3. Moving on to the culinary outing at the food truck with Kasper and Boy. ‘I think Gaby likes red. I sometimes see some photos of her in red lingerie and such.’ Am I really very prudish for not wanting to think that people might say this about me one day?

4. By the way, I laughed my ass off at that Kasper, what a delightful dude. ‘Good evening, I’m Cesper. And we’re gonna make seafood risotto.’

5. Boy, on the other hand, totally flopped on the big Do-You-Want-Kids?-question by answering with a panicked: ‘I didn’t want to talk about that on this date!’ A bit awkward, but he recovered. Touché. And Penelope is really a top name. If you spell it like that.

6. For one Jordy, things are going great, but for white-rose-Jordy, it’s do or die. So he really has to prove himself on the beach date. Which he immediately does by kind of attacking Gaby during a beach walk, like, what is it? She also came to him pretty late. He let the other boys go first. Weird tactic. I have serious doubts about the awkwardness of this man. Come on, Videoland, he’s secretly hired, right?

7. Just saying: I think Andreas is such a chill dude too.

8. Okay okay oooookay, Gaab is going all out for the cocktail party. See-through dress with short black shorts and all the men are swooning. A bit heavy though. All that testosterone that has to ‘grab their moment’ all the time. And, not because it’s Moët, but because it can. RITCHIE, WHERE ARE YOU??

9. Not that it’s a big deal, but just curious. Do you think Niek had something injected in those lips?

10. That Joey, right, we want to see more of him? First secretly just a bit of making out and then hardly see anything of him during this episode. Aside from ‘you make me nervous and I don’t know if that’s good or bad’. Nah, this is so unsatisfying.

P.S.: Next week: Chester doubts whether he even wants a rose. Ooh. #yomama.

P.S.: More TV chatter and Bachelorette shizzle? Follow me on Insta at @kikiduren. And, heart at the bottom if you’re also enjoying the B.

Until next week, Videoland binge-watchers.

Yo!