For all the people who are afraid to drive: now’s your time

He gives me a sideways glance and hands me his car keys. I know him. He’s really not that relaxed about it. And neither am I, to be honest. But the best way to gain confidence is to do exactly what you’re afraid of. So here we go. Our usual seats have been swapped, and under my armpits, I feel something starting to tingle. Buckle up, here we go.

Okay fuck, no automatic this. Let me think, two pedals. Which one is gas and which one is brake again? Sander looks at me with a look of: ‘are you really serious about this?’ and I wish I was joking. You see: every time I drive, there’s so much time in between that I have to get used to it again and start with an error. ‘Have faith, San. Come on. Just cooperate now.’ His armpits are probably tingling too.

I think we drive for exactly six minutes when the first curse words fly through the car. I want to drive off at the traffic light, only to find out I’m still ‘in third gear’ and behind me, a circus of honking horns erupts. Panic times ten. He shouts: ‘LOOK, THIS ISN’T WORKING’, I shout: ‘STOP, LET ME, THIS HAPPENS TO EVERY BEGINNER DRIVER!!!’

I try it for another fifteen minutes on the highway, but as the argument + the wrong choices pile up with the kilometers and I’m almost crying behind the wheel, I stop grumbling at the gas station. ‘The best way to gain confidence is to do exactly what you’re afraid of.’ Pfff. That’s enough for now. My childish self takes over. ‘Piece of shit car. Crappy license. Bullshit,’ I hear myself yell.

But I won’t let myself be easily discouraged, this is a woman on a mission. A few months ago, I bought a fitness hula hoop, failed grandly in my attempt to make it spin normally around my waist, and now I’m going for it like crazy. Long story short: everything you invest time in grows. So I’m going for it during this corona time. Small circles. Maybe first just around the neighborhood. To the supermarket. Step by step. Making a few meters every week. Maybe even take a small course on driving anxiety (if there’s a driving school/person who says: ‘Well Kiek, this is the tip’, then email me at kikiduren@live.nl). And then one day: sigh. I’ll manage it.

For everyone who is also afraid to drive: now is your time. Screw all those Instagram challenges and tackle your real struggles. The driving challenge. The road is quiet. Go for it and make yourself proud!

P.S.: Soon an update on all this, you understand. I’m already shitting ten colors. Goodness, stepping out of your comfort zone = the most fun there is. Yay. Do you see me smiling?

Pfffff.

We can do this.