Real life: ‘I’m secretly glad that my mother-in-law can’t come for a visit after the birth’

The corona era also brings invisible issues to light. Today, Anne (31) shares that she is glad her mother-in-law cannot come for a visit after the birth.

Anne (31) welcomed a healthy son into the world just as the government began discussing social distancing due to the coronavirus. Secretly, she is happier with that one and a half meters of distance than she dares to admit. ‘On the way home, the doctor impressed one thing upon me: see as few people as possible.’

‘The press conference was on TV when we were driving to the hospital. It was quiet on the street, said Pim, but I didn't notice that because of the contractions. I had stayed inside as much as possible in the weeks before due to all the COVID-19 infections. It made me anxious, especially because I didn't know what the virus would do to the baby.

The delivery was tough but good. I just made it to the hospital to give birth there, and Pim was allowed to come with me, but when our son Sem finally arrived, everything suddenly changed. The doctor at my bedside told me that the hospital was closing and that our visitors really had to wait. The postpartum tears were already high, but kept coming because of her message. I cried because I wanted to show my mother the dark hair of her grandson. I wanted my father to walk into the room and tell me that Sem looked like me. I wanted to secretly drink a glass of bubbles with my best friend on the edge of the bed, as we had promised each other. But after all those tears, I was left with one strange feeling: relief. Because of the ban on visitors, I could escape my demanding mother-in-law for just a little while, who always knows better. Pim reassured me, he thought, by saying it would only be a day before they would see Sem. I secretly hoped it wouldn't be…

Meanwhile, our family apps kept buzzing. For now, that was Pim's task; he would inform fathers, mothers, brothers, and sisters about every little movement Sem made. Even though I missed mine, it was nice and quiet to have no one around us for a moment. I counted Sem's eyelashes, smelled his little baby body, and fumbled with putting on his onesie. Not for a second did I feel my mother-in-law's hot breath on my neck. I didn't see that condescending wrinkle in her nose when breastfeeding got a bit awkward. And if I panicked for a moment, I would FaceTime my own mother for advice while pretending to sleep when Pim wanted to catch up with his.

On the way home, the doctor impressed one thing upon me: see as few people as possible and go into isolation. Because Sem has very little resistance, he can quickly catch something, she explained. I looked at Pim; doubt was in his eyes. ‘What if she's right?’ I asked him in the car while I carefully adjusted Sem's little hat. Pim took a deep breath, as he always does when he disagrees with something. ‘Let's just do our parents,’ he suggested. The idea that his mother would interfere with Sem drove me crazy. I avoided his gaze in the rearview mirror, but tears ran down my cheeks. Pim, who thought it was my over-concern, immediately backtracked. ‘We'll keep the door closed until April 6,’ he said.

My mother-in-law saw Sem for a brief moment through the window, but I am secretly relieved that I can still make my own mistakes without receiving comments. Although I can never tell Pim this.

In this unusual time, we asked people for their honest story. To avoid hurting others, the names of Anne, Pim, and Sem have been changed.