Just about that press conference from yesterday...

There it was again, a press conference. It feels a bit like a Tyra's Letter in America's Next Top Model. Suddenly there's another message that has us all in its grip. So we were ready again (I think there hasn't been this much linear television watched in a long time as in the past week), tickets together because would the word ‘lockdown’ be mentioned or not and would we, like the 2020 version of Sleeping Beauty, be magically put on pause? Fortunately, that was not the case (and breathe out), but something is going to change, just what exactly? Because let's face it: that press conference was everything, but also quite vague. Let me go through my ideas with you.

1. The angry parents
Rutte and Grapperhaus stood there like two parents who had left their children home alone for a weekend and were quite disappointed with the result. Yes, Bas had neatly mowed the lawn and Suzanne had emptied the dishwasher, but those beer crates in the hallway and those plastic bags of chips in the driveway, that just couldn't be. That's how it felt a bit. They didn't want to generalize, because honestly, there were also good citizens among them, but oh, the disappointment was great. We were almost writing punishment lines or standing in the corner.

2. Say, imagine this
It might be me, but I felt like I was seeing Martin van Rijn, let's say the new Minister Bruins, of Medical Care for the first time in action. I would think: please introduce yourself nicely to the people, but he stumbled through his A4 sheet. I don't know if we're dealing with a media cannon here, but who knows.

3. Until June 1!
We're going from April 6, so, whoosh, to a measure until June 1. But that doesn't apply to hospitality venues (‘Different rules apply because they are simply closed’) and schools. Completely clear. There is no question of gatherings of groups of people. No, clear. Completely.

4. Schools?
That was rightly asked by one of the journalists. Does this decision also have consequences for schools? Grapperhaus wasn't going to say anything about that. You'll hear that on April 6. Or around April 6. Sure, Fred. We'll see.

5. Private situation
You may only have three people visiting your house (I thought this wasn't allowed at all, I suddenly found three people quite a lot. So I can invite two friends for wine - I mean ginger tea.) But to the question of whether you can throw a birthday party (I thought that was a pretty silly question because guys, we're dealing with a crisis and you care about a circle with men on the left, women on the right, and cubes of cheese and pickles rolled in salami?) the answer was: ‘Home remains a private matter, but we strongly advise... and so on.’ Can I conclude from this that this is advice and not a ban? Not that I was planning to, you know. Anything to kick a birthday celebration far ahead of me, I grab.

6. Well, how high are those fines?
Nothing has been established about that yet. Those fines ‘can go up to about 400 euros’. I understand it well, you know. You've been sketching all day and want to quickly inform us of decisions, but it had a bit of a clumsy feel. Just like the answer to the question of when these tightened rules would come into effect. ’Uh, that will, well, just like last time... During the course of this evening.’ So if I'm still sitting on a bench with five people now, it's allowed, but ‘during the course of the evening’ no longer.

7. Go to the supermarket at quiet times
I understand that you shouldn't go to the supermarket with the whole family, but we also got the advice to go especially at times when it's quiet in the supermarket. But how do I know when it's quiet? Our normal peak and valley guidelines have disappeared just as easily as the morning rush hour. And had you also thought about the fact that you might not always be able to determine when you go to the supermarket? If you can't take your children with you, you need someone to keep an eye on them. Anyway.

I understand everyone and think that tightened regulations and fines are necessary to point out the seriousness and personal responsibility to everyone, but this press conference... A six from me. But don't be sad: something in me says that there will soon be another moment with podiums and responsible ministers, so you can have a lovely retake. And Martin van Rijn, welcome aboard.

P.S.: A solid ten for Irma Sluis, the sign language interpreter. Can I nominate her to interpret live for Chateau Meiland? Seems award-winning, so fun.